twitter line

i finally have the little tagline for my twitter account.  it came to me when i was biking a gzillion miles today:

work out like an animal, drink like a fish, fuck like a beast.

what do you think?

If You're Not Following Me On Twitter, You Missed This:

My girlfriend's roommate has muttenchops and lays his girlfriend to classical music. Chops guys aught to bone to Motorhead.

Response To What the Fuck Facts

Sorry about the language, but that's a twitter account that I follow that tweets out really weird facts all day long. I like to respond to them, for some reason, and here's what I have said to the fine folks at "WTF Facts" so far.

WTF Facts: Men with a certain rare medical condition can breastfeed babies.
Dr. Ken: That "medical condition" is called man boobies.

WTF Facts: In an average day, a four year old child will ask 437 questions!
Dr. Ken: And they will say "Mom" 899 times trying to get your attention. Annoying!

WTF Facts: More people have cell phones than access to a decent toilet.
Dr. Ken: That's just crazy, right? I love texting from my "decent" toilet.

WTF Facts: Women fart just as much in a day as men.
Dr. Ken: More people have cell phones than access to a decent toilet.

WTF Facts: Facebook was directly related to 1/3 of divorces (Don't quote this stat. Couldn't find the original).
Dr. Ken: Twitter needs to step

WTF Facts: 42% of couples have sex in front of a pet (another guessed stat because I couldn't find the original)
Dr. Ken: Hell no. My iguana judges me.

WTF Facts: Two dogs survived the sinking of the Titanic.
Dr. Ken: Does this turn into a joke about how those two formed the pedigree for Chuck Norris' dogs?