I had my 20 year reunion on Saturday night and learned a few things . . .

1. I was way better at remembering the names and faces of the men than the women. This is largely due to the fact that I had crippling shyness and horrible self-esteem in high school, and as a result didn't talk to girls. As a matter of fact, I didn't go to one school dance, didn't make time with any ladies, didn't have a girlfriend . . . none of that good stuff.

This isn't something I think about very often because I made up for lost time and dated enough women in my twenty's and thirties, but it's something I was unexpectedly sad about at the reunion and during a pretty awful hangover the next day. I'm not a dwell on the past type of guy - more of a let's look forward type - but there is just something pretty shocking about talking to close to 100 people that I had no relationship with back then. They had all those parties, played on all the teams, and had all those old times to talk about . . . All I could think about were all those miserable years I spent so scared to be embarrassed somehow that I spent the whole day in hiding, avoiding human contact. I just got through the school day in hiding until I could get home to my Metallica and Ozzy c.d.'s.

2. Just like at our 10 year, we took pictures of groups of people who went to certain grade schools and junior high schools together. It was those grade school people that I most wanted to see and hit it off with most that night. There's just more history: More times of people pissing their pants and eating paste and shit. I can't explain it.

3. One guy who was really quiet back in school showed up at around 8PM completely hammered. He has a drinking problem, and that's something that I know about pretty well from his younger brother. We were cracking up watching him corner people in the most awkward conversations ever, and at one point he unleashed a whiskey fart that cleared out the one whole half of the bar. Maybe, like me, he was having some crappy feelings coming back up and anxiety about seeing and talking to people so he drank even more than usual. Poor guy.

4. Speaking of drinking, it was kind of fascinating to stay and watch which classmates stuck around late into the night and kept boozing. I made a mix of songs from 1991 to 1995 to plug into the stereo system at the bar, and I got a lot of compliments on it. I had around five hours of music listed alphabetical according to song title. I remember asking for my iPod back around midnight to head to the after hours bar with "Waterfalls" by TLC playing, so the mix was just about over. Some of the classmates at the bar had told me they had kids at home, and one of the hardest partying ladies had four boys. Everyone was cool and a lot of fun.

I really should have given people more of a chance back in high school because that was a bar full of great folks. Except for the guy who was excited to show me that he had a business card with his picture on it and said I should come stay with him next time I'm in the area in his 10,000 square foot Victorian mansion. I'm guessing/exaggerating the square footage figure, but he for sure said Victorian mansion. He was kind of nerdy back then, and now he is an over confident nerd. I wanted to let him know, "It's okay, man. Everyone is cool and grown up now. No one will make fun of you. Come, let's get a beer at the bar together and listen to "In the Meantime" by Space Hog." You too, readers, should grab a beer and hit play on that one.

Anyone ever hear "'Da Butt" by E.U.?  I heard it on my bike ride home from work today and started laughing my ass off at this line: "If you get that notion get your backfield in motion."

I'm going to say something right now: That is singlehandedly the best line ever about American football, booty shaking, or combinations thereof.

The minute I got home I added it to our wedding playlist.  This was a point of contention, but to compromise I'm going to give the d.j. a time to fade it out midway through the song, likely just after that backfield line . . .

Polar Playlist

I'm running a half marathon tomorrow in freezing Chicago weather in what is called the Polar Dash, and here is my playlist.

1. "The Final Countdown" by Europe: This song leads off every official race that I do.  Cheesy, yes, but it's good to have some rituals to calm your nerves.

2. "Nola" by Down, whole album.  I was a metal head in high school, and back then I could never admit that this album from the southern hard rock side project of Phil from Pantera is better than almost all of Pantera's stuff - but it is.

3. 6 fun songs, one of which somehow is "Wild World" by Cat Stevens.  I suppose for dynamics?

4. "Welcome To Sky Valley" by Kyuss.  One of the heaviest, most amazing records ever.  Work out with this on your headphones and maybe try to lift a car.  Not my fault if you break your back.  

5. 6 more fun songs, I think one by Too Short.

"Aenima" by Tool, whole album.  It is aptly named because it is such an intense and incredible piece of music that you feel like your insides are flushed out along with all the crummy music in your head all week long, like that new diamond crap song by Rhianna.

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Hope you enjoyed the music.  Any of you want to share stuff from your workout playlists or cleaning the bathroom mix, or whatever the fuck?

My FIrst Marathon Highlights.

1. My playlist was killer. Just before the race was going to start, I hit play and heard "The Final Countdown" by Europe. I also entitled the playlist, "Chicago Marathon. You Can Do It," so the little voice in my headphones told me that when I selected that playlist. Sometimes I name lists with swears just to make the guy say them. Anyway, the race took me a little longer than I thought so I had to skip through to a couple songs to hear them twice. Songs heard twice: "Back That Ass Up," "Train in Vain," and "Just Like Heaven" to name a few. Major props to Kyuss for having two full albums on my list. I recommend them to anyone who works out or beats people up.

2. The signs people had were great. I saw one that said "Worst Parade Ever," which I thought was hilarious until I saw two more. However, the third one had the pic of the comic book store guy from "The Simpsons," which was a nice touch. Another said "Don't poop" (in big letters) and then "out" in small letters. Another said, "While you're out, can you pick up some bread and milk? We're all out." Turns out it was a friend of a friend with that sign. Another said "Run, total stranger!" These signs made me laugh, which is huge when you're running. Other signs were inspiring, if even just for 5 seconds.

3. People give you cheers and high fives as well, and it's even better if you have your name on your shirt so they say, "All right, Dr. Ken!" High fives from little kids kept me smiling. One lady had a sign that said "free hugs," and I really considered it. Another guy had a sign that said "free beer for runners," and he was giving out tiny cans of beer. I saw one lady with a sign that said "shortcut to free beer" with an arrow pointing the way everyone was running anyway. I only got a quarter through my free beer at the end of the race. It tasted amazing (Goose Island's 312, a great Chicago beer), but it just wouldn't go down.

4. I had plenty of beer after getting home and taking a nap. The last bar we stopped at had a drunk sweaty Black guy doing Thai Chi for the whole bar, for some reason. He was quite pleased with himself, but I was more impressed with the sweat coverage on his shit, which was thicker than anyone in the race that afternoon.

5. I was running a couple miles with a friend of mine until she stopped to pee at a point I didn't have to, and as we were approaching the gay neighborhood of Chicago, Boys Town, where there were male cheerleaders and all sorts of fun stuff, I said to her, "I can feel the gayness." And she said, "What? You can smell the anus?" I laughed and said, "No, that's not what I said, but I wish I had because it's fricking hilarious . . ."

6. On a serious note, I wore a ribbon with my buddy Gung Ho's mother's name who just died of cancer. I had it on my back, so I would periodically check it it was still there through out the race. She made it the whole way!

7. Was I in pain? Yes. At one point people were handing out Ben Gay type stuff in packets, and I damn near squirted in my mouth before I heard someone yell, "No! Don't eat it!" Wait, it gets dumber. After putting it in my hand, I rubbed it all over my knees and took a pee, touching my wang with the stuff. I'm not going to say it hurt, but it did just feel super weird, and it was all I could think about for a whole mile.

LSD's Going Away Playlist: Volume 2 of 4

As this is the second installment in this series, if you already know the purpose of the list, just skip down to have a look at the songs, otherwise, have a look at the intro:

I have been working on writing the "liner notes" for the playlist for discs I made for LSD, my girlfriend, who is going away from Chicago and Dr. Ken for two years to attend grad school in California, and I thought I would share the songs and notes with my beloved Seven Readers.

There are 28 total songs, so I will post 7 songs at a time. As always, be sure to hit pause on the player on the right side of the page if you want to play the song clips. Let me know what you think!

Hey, LSD!

I hope you like these songs. I tried to pick ones that hold some sort of significance, and my hope is that they make at least 153 minutes of your drive to Cali enjoyable.

Perhaps one day you’ll come across this mix and smile.

They’re in alphabetical order by the name of the song, and I actually listened to each song as I wrote the notes for each one.

Enjoy!

LSD Cali Mix 1 (part 2) – Liner Notes

8. Led Zeppelin “Going to California”

Okay, again, not so creative, but I really do like this live version with the country lap steel guitar sound. “Took my chances on a big jet plane. Never let them tell you that they’re all the same.” Also, I think this line applies, given your undertaking: “Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams, telling myself it's not as hard, hard, hard as it seems."

9. Travis “Hit Me, Baby, One More Time”

I mostly put this on here because you went to Britney in the second row, or whatever, but also this is a good version to have because it’s hard to find. I read an article with the Travis guy, who I think is an incredible singer, and he said that they started doing the song as a joke, but eventually he put so much heart and soul into it that the words began to mean something to him. “Oh baby I shouldn’t have let you go . . . My loneliness is killing me . . .” I can see why those words might mean something to a guy like myself.

10. Motley Crue “Home Sweet Home.”

Yes, this is a hair metal ballad, but it’s pretty awesome. It’s surprising you don’t hear this one at the bar more like you do with “Livin’ on a Prayer.” The song has that message of being home sweet home, coming down that long and winding road to be with your loved one, or whatever, but it also needs to be on this list just to add some rock and balls.

11. Whitney Houston “I Will Always Love You.”

This song is pretty craptacular, but it will always make me laugh thinking about you belting it out the window on the way back from the same wedding as track 5. You were just going for broke, voice cracking from some of the harder notes, but pretty much nailing it – at least I thought so, but I was drunk. Hope you sing it with at least half of that gusto when you hear it now.**

12. Method Man and Mary J. Blige “I’ll Be There For You

The original song already had some good sentiments, but Meth delivers lines like “all that romance crap to show you love.” Okay, that’s not such a good part, but I like when he says “Even when the skies were gray, you would rub me on my back and tell me ‘baby it will be okay.’” FYI there is around two minutes where they break it on down where I wouldn’t be mad if you skipped it. I just wanted to get some good rap on this list.***

13. Milli Vanilli “I’m Gonna Miss You”

Okay, this one came up when I did a search for “miss,” and I laughed my ass off. If you don’t have fond memories of this song, I understand if you give it a skip. I just picture those goofy dread locked dudes from Germany lip syncing with the record skipping and smile every time. Still, I think it’s kind of a sweet song.

"But there was nothin' I could do to make you stay
I'm gonna miss you"

or

"Giving all the love I feel for you

couldn't make you change your point of view

You're leavin'.

Now I'm sittin' here, Wastin' my time
I just don't know what I should do"

14. Neutral Milk Hotel “In the Aeroplane Over the Sea.”

I remember lying in the bed over by your place, and you asked me to keep playing “pretty songs” on the iTunes. I recall that you liked this one, and I liked how it felt lying next to you listening to it. I figure there will be many “Aeroplanes” in our future over the next couple of years, not necessarily over seas, but lakes and rivers for sure.

This line is good:

"What a beautiful face
I have found in this place
That is circling all round the sun"

And so is this one:

"And one day we will die
And our ashes will fly from the aeroplane over the sea
But for now we are young
Let us lay in the sun
And count every beautiful thing we can see
Love to be
In the arms of all I'm keeping here with me."

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*This isn't the version of "Going to California" that I put on there, the actual one being the version from the "How the West Was Won" disc.

**Okay, that's not Whitney, but that kid is putting it down, whether he knows what he's saying or not.

***This youtube is also a slightly different version, and I think I like it better than the one I put on her disc. Darn!

LSD's Going Away Playlist: Volume 1 of 4

I have been working on writing the "liner notes" for the playlist for discs I made for LSD, my girlfriend, who is going away from Chicago and Dr. Ken for two years to attend grad school in California, and I thought I would share the songs and notes with my beloved Seven Readers.

There are 28 total songs, so I will post 7 songs at a time. As always, be sure to hit pause on the player on the right side of the page if you want to play the song clips. Let me know what you think!

Hey, LSD!

I hope you like these songs. I tried to pick ones that hold some sort of significance, and my hope is that they make at least 153 minutes of your drive to Cali enjoyable. Perhaps one day you’ll come across this mix and smile.

They’re in alphabetical order by the name of the song, and I actually listened to each song as I wrote the notes for each one.

Enjoy!

LSD Cali Mix 1 – Liner Notes

1. R. Kelly “Bump N’ Grind.”

There really isn’t a great reason to put this one on here aside from the fact that he’s from Chicago and we did a lot of bumping as well as grinding in the last year. Also, I thought this one might make you laugh because it cracks me up. "My mind's tellin' me no!!"

2. Wilco “California Stars.”

This has always been a feel-good song for me. They’re from Chicago and the song is about California, so what the hell. It’s actually taken from a poem by Woody Guthrie, and I can’t see anyone doing a better job at turning it into a song. It’s also a good driving with the windows down and the wind in your hair type of song – I think.

3. Built to Spill “Car.”

I wanted to be sure that I had a BTS song on here because they’re just about my favorite band; for sure my favorite from Idaho. Will you be driving through The Land of Potatoes? Anyway, the song says “You get the car, I’ll get the night off. You’ll get the chance to take the world apart and figure out how it works.” Also, he says “I need a car, you need a guy who needs a map,” so that makes me think of you and Suzy in the car with a map, and Suzy getting the “night off” of work to drive with you.*

4. Marvin Gaye “Distant Lover.”

I did a search for “distant” or “distance” on the iTunes and this one came up. I had forgotten what a great performance this was. He was driving bitches crazy that night! Anyway, Dr Ken and LSD will be distant lovers for sure. Boot up that Skype, I'll grab some Kleenex, and “let’s get it on” like Marvin!

5. E.U. “Doin’ the Butt.”

I think you will recall driving home from that wedding and me singing this one to random Black folks getting out of the bar in the middle of the night. Plus, I just think you and I sang this goofy one so much to the point that it became a good song. I still need to hear this one at Liars Club before I die . . .**

6. Journey “Faithfully.”

This song is really corny but awesome, and it perfectly expressed what it was like for Steve Perry to be apart from his lady while on tour. One line that is equally gay and amazing is “I get the joy of rediscovering you.” Fuck it. I love this song. I’ll tell the world! I remember listening to this one on my sister’s stereo before I had a CD player. I love those drum fills starting at 2:52. “being apart ain’t easy on this love affair,” but we’ll be stronger for it – I just know it.

7. L.L. Cool J “Going Back to Cali”

There is nothing deeper that went into the logic of putting this song on here except that you used to live in Cali and now you’re going back there. Still, L.L. says “I don’t think so,” which suggests that he would always be representin’ Queens just like you represent Chicago, or wherever we end up together.

Stay tuned for parts 2 through 4, Seven Readers!

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*Suzy is her buddy who is driving with her and taking a flight back to Chicago, just so that LSD has some company. Nice, right?
**I think Spike Lee being in this video gives it some street cred.

Long Deserved Idle Time

My summer off from my real job started today. I start my full-time summer job tomorrow, but here’s what I did with my first day off in a long time:

1. I cleaned my bedroom. Since I live with 4 dudes, my bedroom is my safe-haven. I spend a great deal of time here, and as a result, I accumulate a lot of SHIT. Here are some things I found:
a) A wig, 2 joker hats, and numerous wristbands
b) A stamped envelope filled with a credit card bill and a check, signed by me, from February. This must have gotten buried and never sent. When I found things like this I kept thinking of Naked Gun when he’s cleaning out his desk, and he’s like, “The missing evidence from the Kelsey case; I’ll be damned, he WAS innocent.” Then the other guy tells him he got the electric chair years ago. Sorry if the quote wasn’t exact, but the sentiment of me losing important shit rings true.
c) Enough change to buy a summer home sompeplace, and in a related matter, I foresee a trip to a Coinstar real soon. Don’t you love those things? We pay money for a machine to count our money and give us another form of money . . . But the change IS money. ‘Well, yes, but it’s so cumbersome . . . ‘

2. I watched 3 of the 4 episodes in the History of Metal series on VH1. Just when I’m ready to write that channel off as shit, and think that they might as well go back to just showing adult contemporary videos like Gloria Estefan and Phil Collins all day, they come out with something really kick ass like this. The part of the show that really made my day was seeing my second favorite clip from Decline of Western Civilization Part II: The Metal Years in which guitarist Chris Holmes from W.A.S.P. (rumored to be an acronym for We Are Sexual Perverts) attempts to drink himself to death in his pool while his mother sits pool-side. He’s everything I want to be. In case you're wondering, odds are you're not, but just in case, my favorite clip from that film is when the girl wins the Miss Sunset Strip contest, or whatever they call it, and when asked what is next for Miss Sunset Strip, she says she is going to work on her ACTRESSING.

3. I finalized my Summer: Fuck Yeah disc (The title of the disc is an homage to a song from Team America). It was my roommate Neil’s idea for the two of us to each make 80 minutes of music which embodies summertime in Chicago, and we’ll debut them this weekend with some cocktails and friends. Here is the track listing for my disc:

1. Baby, Now That I've Found You 2:34 The Foundations
(Great oldie here, and you’ll see lots of oldies on the list cause any other time of year they can annoy me, but they rock in the summer. When I searched for a photo just now I noticed that they were an interracial band, about half and half no less. I always like to see that for some reason. I suppose there is something about me being two parts social worker and one part rock and roller which equates to the idea of a good interracial band being likely to give me a warm, fuzzy feeling, which it did.)

2. Lively Up Yourself 5:11 Bob Marley & The Wailers
(I needed a Bob song, and I always liked this one. How it’s not on the Legend disc I have no idea.

3. I Gotta Feeling (Just Nineteen) 3:30 Eagles Of Death Metal
(I just saw these guys live and they’re a lot of fun. No real reason for this song to be on here, except that I wanted a couple of friends to hear this track.

4. Just Like Heaven 3:32 The Cure
(This song makes me want to frolic around an open field like a nymph. No, not the type that sleeps with everything that everything that moves, the type from mythology full of whimsy and carefree fun.)

5. Brandy (You're A Fine Girl) 2:55 Looking Glass
(This is a tale of a lonely bar maid on a pier in love with sailors who will never be able to marry her, due to their devotion to “the sea.” The nautical theme is kind of summery I suppose, but again, I think all oldies qualify for summertime songs in my book.)

6. Shake Your Rump 3:19 Beastie Boys
(This is booty shaking good time)

7. Bananas And Blow 3:34 Ween
(I had to get Ween on the list, and this song qualifies for summer with that cabana flavor)

8. I Saw Her Again Last Night 3:14 Mamas And The Papas
(Another good oldie)

9. Me and Julio down by the schoolyard - Simon & Garfunkel (live)
(I like this live version a lot better than the recorded one. Fun song.

10. Werewolves of London 3:20 Warren Zevon
(Does anyone else picture Tom Cruise wielding a pool cue in Color of Money when they hear this song?)

11. Stay A Little Longer 3:25 Willie Nelson (live)
(This song sums up the summer lifestyle and friends being bad influences upon someone).

12. Fantastic Voyage 5:34 Coolio
(Who can forget that video when Coolio puts a gazillion people in his trunk and takes all their asses to Da Beach for one big ass party?)

13. Lake Shore Drive 3:49 Aliotta, Haynes, Jeremiah
(This is the perfect song to play when you’re riding down the highway for which the song was named. I could not believe a band that made such a cool song could possibly suck, but I played their greatest hits once, and sure enough, they sucked.)

14. Train in Vain (Stand by Me) 3:11 The Clash
(Fun song for a band that’s supposed to be all about Punk and fuck everybody sentiments.)

15. Panama 3:32 Van Halen
(I wanted to put Jump on here for the Chicago Cubbies, but when I played the start of this one, it just seems more about the summertime cruising and rocking, etc.)

16. Thank God I'm A Country Boy 3:24 John Denver
(This is a VERY guilty pleasure, but try to tell me it’s not infectious.)

17. Its A Beautiful Morning 2:31 Young Rascals
(It is not an exaggeration to say that this song is beautiful. Who actually says, “It’s a beautiful morning. I think I’ll go outside for a while and just smile?” When that’s the extent of your plans, it truly is a beautiful morning.

18. I Get Around 4:19 2 Pac Shakur
(There’s a lot of, to quote Wedding Crashers, “strange ass” floating around in the summer, and I had to have a song to cover that element; this one delivers in spades.

19. My Sweet One 2:07 Phish
(Phish is a summer band for me. I always revisit them this time of year.)

20. Glad Girls 3:49 Guided By Voices
(Great pick-me-up song on a disc and at one of their live shows. Every show I saw GBV live this song would kick in after 12 b-sides nobody knew, and everyone would jump up and down in unison.

21. Sweet Freedom 4:07 Michael McDonald
(What a dorky song, but it makes me think of Running Scared (a not so great Chicago movie) and the Cubbies (who were not so great in 1986). I guess it just reminds me of a summer in my childhood and gives me a chance to entertain people with my dead-on Michael McDonald impression.

22. Summer Babe [Winter Version] 3:16 Pavement
(Beyond the simple fact that this song title has summer in it and it’s by one of the best bands ever, it also is a song that makes me happy.

Well, what started as a quick blog turned into an entirely too huge blog. If you’ve made it this far, or were nice enough to skim this far, I hope you enjoyed a little taste of what it’s like to be the type of guy who sets out to write about what he did on his day off, but ends up with an entry with track list descriptions being longer than the actual subject matter. Good day.