I Wear a Custom Fitted Mouth Guard At Night . . .

. . . because I grind my teeth in my sleep. Maybe that means I'm stressed out, tense, nervous, or just a plain freak. All I do know is that if I don't wear it, I wake up with my whole jaw hurting.

It's not the kind that looks like a football mouth guard; rather, it's a hard plastic impression of my front two teeth. Now, there's a bump that I can feel pointing towards my mouth, and there have been a couple of times where I have woke up to myself tonguing that little ridge - and the dreams have been about licking a woman's excited, ummmmm . . . bump.

I've only had this happen a few times. In some instances I've woke up to a morning Woodrow Wilson, in others the dream has involved the "bump" of someone I really shouldn't be thinking about, and in some cases both.

It's good that I have this safe place to share this sort of thing, as I haven't relayed this bit of information to anyone else. I can trust the seven of you with weird, perverted stuff like this, right?

Anyone have any dirty dreams they want to tell us about so I'm not the only one putting it out there?