Foot in the Mouth Moment #3,011

I was at a holiday party recently in which the music was terrible.  This wouldn't usually bother me that much (okay, it always bothers me), but I know the host had good music but was not allowed to play his own music - his wife's music was dominating.  Then he was told to play music in the kitchen, and I'm thinking, "Yes!  My boy's music will be in the kitchen, so I'll just hang out in there.  That's where the booze is anyway."  Nope.  She came in there later and switched that to her music too.

Just when I was settling in with some decent scotch and starting to get a warm buzz on a cold evening, and just when I'm buzzed up enough not to care too much about the music, I suddenly hear this weird whimsical techno crappola stuff kick in that just couldn't be ignored.  An instant record-scratcher track where everyone stops and says, "Huh???"

That's when I blurted out the following:

What in the hell is this shit?  It sounds like what the Teletubbies play at one of their cocaine parties.  

Then ladyfriend came over by my side to whisper to me that the song was something that a guest at the party made with his DJ'ing, and he was three feet away from me when I loudly delivered that comment.  Oops.

In my defense, if you heard the song and my description, you would have congratulated me on instantaneously deducing exactly what it sounded like.

How about you, seven readers?  Put a foot in your mouth lately?

69th Post, Dude!!!

My boy Cherry recently posted the first in a series of helpful hints to get through life, so with out further ado, I'd like to post the first in a series of Dr. Kenneth's Greatest Foot in the Mouth Moments, and this one is knee deep, ladies and gents . . .

I know this guy Darren, who my buddy dubbed Dangerous Darren.  We're all out at a bar and I see a girl who had hooked up with like three people in our circle of friends, one of which may or may not have been your humble narrator. So, I say to Dangerous Darren . . .

Me: "Hey, there goes Ronny talking to The Sure Thing."
Dangerous Darren: What do you mean?
Me: You know, that chick. She's getting around this crew quite nicely. She's getting filled out like an application.*
DD: You know I'm kind of dating her right now, right?
Me: Oh, man, I'm sorry . . . Let me freshen up that cocktail of yours . . .

* I didn't really say this line, but it's funny, huh?