Kickball for Grownups

My friend, Oates, asked me to sub on his kickball team.  I told him no, but he said that if I didn't, they'd have to forfeit.  So I told Oates that if they couldn't find anyone, I would do it.  Well, he couldn't get anyone and I had to fill in.

I was telling my roommates as I was suiting up that I was pissed about having to go.  I really wanted to just go to the gym and go to sleep, but here I am spending a beautiful summer evening in Chicago playing a stupid recess game.

How dumb that there is a league for that game, right?  While you're at it, why not have a league for the game of Tag?  Better still, Freeze Tag?  Or how about a Red Light/Green Light, Mother May I, or Simon Says?  Kick the Can, anyone?  If you really wanted the GOAT kiddie game, put together a Ghost in the Graveyard tournament!

Then I get there and go 4 for 5 with a home run, zero errors, and we won.  Suddenly I'm a fan.

As it turns out, I think my hate for the game was more out of a fear of sucking at it.  That must be that borderline personality* of mine kicking in.

Hey, readers, anyone heard of any of the aforementioned leagues or played in anything goofy, like a Wiffle Ball league?

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*See the angry comments I received in this post if you care for an explanation of this diagnosis. 

"I'm Widical!"

After getting done playing football at recess one day when I was around 9 or 10, one of the more popular kids in the class came up to me and said, "I can't believe you said "I'm widical!" I guess what he meant is that I thought I was wide open for a pass, and I thought I'd combine the phrases "wide open" with one of the word de jur words of the 1980's, radical. Come on, I was a dork, but I wasn't that lame. I denied it vehemently.

Another day at recess, it could have been the next day, but I can't say for sure, we're playing football again, I ran a slant, post, or a fly pattern, I can't be sure which, and I was completely open for a catch and an almost certain touchdown! I found myself blurting out, "I'm widical!"

I thought to myself, "Holy shit. I must have really said that the other day. Jesus I'm lame. I might as well have said I'm widular" (wide open + tubular).

How about you, Seven Readers? Have you ever found yourself saying something really dumb? Again?