First Dirty Movie Podcast: Part 1 of 3

In the latest podcast here at The Gancer, Dr. Kenneth Noisewater and his good friends Southie and Dangerous tell the stories about the first pornographic film they ever saw.  It is our contention that right or wrong, no man will forget their first.

In part one of the three part series, Dr. Ken discusses the film he saw as a youngster - a film with a surprisingly decent plot, a dirty scene with a football as a prop, and a break in that leads to a three way as punishment for the would be burglar.

Ken was rather horrified by his first adult film viewing, and you will surprised at how he exacted his revenge upon that lascivious VHS.

Hit play, enjoy, and please share in the comments what you think about it - or share your first experience.

That Guy's Vein Is Kickin'

The other night a friend was saying he was throwing a party at a bar called Fat Pour, and I thought for all the world that he said fat porn.  This got me thinking that I have seen a couple of fan porns.  One night my buddiess from our high school track team decided to get together one night to watch a couple of these disgusting films.  One of our friends worked at a video store, and I think his morbid curiosity got the best of him, staring at those boxes in the little room behind the curtain all those times.  We settled in for a horrifying double feature: "Life in the Fat Lane" and "Fat Liners," both of which were equally gross.  They were just a series of big buff studs taking on really fat women, and one of them, the headliner, was around 800 pounds.  She looked like the Michelin Man.

Every ripple is like a new position in the Kamasutra!

Years later I ran into a guy from the track team who was there that fateful night.  He had long hair and would listen to Nine Inch Nails between races, which is of no consequence, but a fine choice for music, I think.  Anyway, he said, "Do you remember what you said that night that had us all laughing our asses off?"  I could not even wager a guess.  I was a much quieter and shy guy back then, believe it or not, so when I would finally say something, it was usually a doozy.  Apparently what I said when turning away from a close up on a big screen of a guy's wang was "Ugh, that guy's vein is kickin'."

Doctor Ken's One Liner

Even if the odds of me being a porno actor are rapidly dwindling as I get older, I think that if I ever had to do some "acting" to make ends meet, I would already have thought up the perfect catch phrase.  Just as I got done spritzing all over whatever/whoever it is that needed a spritz, I would crane my neck back, cup my open hand around the side of my mouth and bellow:

"Clean up on aisle three!"

What do you think, Seven Readers?  You have a porn catch phrase of your own or perhaps a porn actor name for yourself?