Dr. Ken's Syllogisms

Listening to jazz makes me feel smart.

Drinking wine makes me feel smart.

Listening to country makes me feel dumb.

Drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon makes me feel dumb.

Therefore:

Listening to jazz while drinking wine makes me feel mega-smart, like a guy who gets New Yorker cartoons.

Listening to country while drinking PBR makes me feel dumber than in an inbred, fetal alcohol, nitwit.

Listening to jazz while drinking PBR makes me feel confused, like a bisexual sitting in front of 100 gig of mixed bag porn.

Listening to country while drinking wine makes me feel semi-classy, like a guy wearing his Members Only jacket to the symphony.

How do you feel about all of this, Seven Readers?