Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Dr. Ken's Syllogisms

Listening to jazz makes me feel smart.

Drinking wine makes me feel smart.

Listening to country makes me feel dumb.

Drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon makes me feel dumb.

Therefore:

Listening to jazz while drinking wine makes me feel mega-smart, like a guy who gets New Yorker cartoons.

Listening to country while drinking PBR makes me feel dumber than in an inbred, fetal alcohol, nitwit.

Listening to jazz while drinking PBR makes me feel confused, like a bisexual sitting in front of 100 gig of mixed bag porn.

Listening to country while drinking wine makes me feel semi-classy, like a guy wearing his Members Only jacket to the symphony.

How do you feel about all of this, Seven Readers?

10 comments:

Kadonkadonk said...

Listening to jazz makes me feel like a pretentious asshole.

Scott Oglesby said...

Listening to jazz makes me feel like a pretentious hipster who is trying to hard. Or like I’m in a porno.

Listening to country makes me feel like they need a better public school system and a little less religion down there.

This was hilarious!

Heff said...

Reading blue text on a black background makes me feel BLIND.

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Dr, Ken: I do listen to jazz and I do drink fine wines. I do listen to country and a beer every once in a while is cool.

I don't feel smart or dumb...just enjoying life.

have you ever been to the symphony? It's pretty awesome.

Shall I bring out my cello?

later dude.

Spiky Zora Jones said...

Dr....listen to heff, he knows. :0)

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Donk: Yes! I like that pretentious asshole, buzzed feeling.

Scott: Yes! Pretentious trying too hard porn actor! Perfect!

Heff: Sorry, sir. Won't happen again. Tried to get cute with fonts. The only plus is that the blue on black ties in with the Tron theme.

Zora: Yes. Put that cello between your legs, and let's party! And yes, I always listen to The Heff.

Michael5000 said...

I'm pretty much with you 100% on this one, Doc.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

5000: haha. thanks 5k!

Vodka and Ground Beef said...

I love your use of transition. You could have gone for the "Thus," but you didn't because you have soul and courage.

"Therefore" is the future.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

VGB: You think? Soul and courage, eh? I like it . . .