Friday, October 15, 2010

I Wear a Custom Fitted Mouth Guard At Night . . .

. . . because I grind my teeth in my sleep. Maybe that means I'm stressed out, tense, nervous, or just a plain freak. All I do know is that if I don't wear it, I wake up with my whole jaw hurting.

It's not the kind that looks like a football mouth guard; rather, it's a hard plastic impression of my front two teeth. Now, there's a bump that I can feel pointing towards my mouth, and there have been a couple of times where I have woke up to myself tonguing that little ridge - and the dreams have been about licking a woman's excited, ummmmm . . . bump.

I've only had this happen a few times. In some instances I've woke up to a morning Woodrow Wilson, in others the dream has involved the "bump" of someone I really shouldn't be thinking about, and in some cases both.

It's good that I have this safe place to share this sort of thing, as I haven't relayed this bit of information to anyone else. I can trust the seven of you with weird, perverted stuff like this, right?

Anyone have any dirty dreams they want to tell us about so I'm not the only one putting it out there?

12 comments:

Indi said...

I have a friend who used to have to wear a mouth gaurd too, she used to grind her teeth so much that she produced big jaw muscles, not only that she was rapidly gettin through teeth! As to what we do when we're asleep.... is anyone's guess... good luck with it


Indi


x

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

She sounds like she has an intense oral problem like me, and perhaps she has some similar dreams. You got her number?

radioactive girl said...

I have sex dreams all the time. Sometimes they are really good and I keep dreaming until I am done. I like those dreams a lot.

Sometimes though they are really scary. A few years ago I had one that was kind of disturbing involving razor sharp teeth and it was with a blogger I had never met and barely knew through emails. That wouldn't be too much of a problem except for some reason when he jokingly asked if the dream was about him and assured me that in real life he doesn't have razor sharp teeth, I told him it was about him. Awkward! And it was someone I am not even close to attracted to when I am awake. (I did not tell him that part because that just would have been mean and unnecessary...sort of like me even telling him it was about him in the first place)

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Radio: Hmmmm. You should ask your analyst about what the razor sharp teeth sex dream means. I have a couple ideas, but I'm kind of a half-assed therapist, so better to ask an expert.

Vodka and Ground Beef said...

This is very strange. I actually suffer from lock jaw, so my chiropractor fit me with a sleeping device that has a rather suggestive shape, but it helps relax my throat. Sometimes I wake up and there's a note on my pillow that reads, "I hope it was good for you too. I had do go, call you soon." No one ever calls me, so I must be sleep writing these notes, but it's very strange.

I think it was brave of you to share your story with everyone.

Andrew said...

I also have to wear a mouth guard except mine is of my whole top row of teeth. When I wear it I sound like I have a speech impediment. Couple it with my bottom retainer & I'm almost unintelligible.

Interesting about the bump thing. Hmmm....

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Beef: Glad you made it by. Everyone, you should go check out her page cause she kills it over there. As for that mystery of the notes, I'm surprised they never call. Not even after 2AM?

Andrew: Why does it not surprise me that you're a clencher too? We have too many similarities, and that troubles me. It's not too late to make some changes so you don't end up like me.

Andrew said...

I know, right? Like two peas in an incredibly sad, creepy pod.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Andrew: Haha. Yes. A sad pod, indeed.

Athena said...

I wear a mouth guard too. Full top row of teeth. You can call me a grinding overachiever if you'd like.

I had an incredibly sexy dream about a coworker ... and the next day I went into work and when I saw his face, I remembered the dream. And blushed.

He's not single. If he were, I'd find out if he had as much talent as the dream, for sure.

Miss Organizized said...

I clench my jaw at night too--definitely NEED a guard. Clearly mouth guards are the gateway to sex dreams, so sign me up!

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Athena: Yeah, I've had that happen too. You're all weird around the person, and he/she has no idea why. Funny . . . .

Miss: Yes! Get on board! Hahahha.