Saturday, October 23, 2010

Set Ups

When you're single and people think you're not a psycho and a decent human, women are wanting to set you up with their friends all the time. This usually isn't good because it makes you feel like you're going to disappoint someone if you don't hit it off with the friend.

So, the other day we're having lunch at work, and one of my coworkers says she has the perfect girl for me. Luckily, my good friend was on the scene with some valuable information, and he said, "You try to set her up with everyone, so what's wrong with her? Is she desperate? Plus, she's not that great looking. I've been out with Dr. Ken, and he gets tens.*" Then the female coworker countered with, "She is, too, pretty. I mean, Dr. Ken, you're not going to hear "Who's That Lady?" when she walks in the room."

But I want to hear "Who's That Lady"; that's just it.

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*I don't get tens. Plus, I don't want to date tens because really, really hot women have Hot Girl Entitlement Issues (HGETs), they have a warped sense of reality because everyone treats them extra nice their whole lives, and they're hit on all the time, so you're fighting off every penis in the room with a stick. But, I'm a little ashamed to admit that I like that feeling of walking into a room with the prettiest girl under my arm, and it's nice to be loved by a beautiful woman as opposed to a so-so one. Let's face it: I'm dying alone.

12 comments:

b.burjan said...

i don't think i'd ever want to be set up with someone, then again, i've never been offered that, which i suppose that is for good reason. i guess my female friends know me too well...on the plus side, my sister met her husband in a set up. so i suppose those things can work. i think you at least need to see some pics before you agree to something like that.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Burjan: I'll take you out in Chicago. I'll set 'um up, and you knock 'um down.

b.burjan said...

word, dude. i'm sure we could do some damage. if i'm feeling it, i can get us some choice tail.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Burjan: Hahaha. You gotta feel it then!! If you feel it, she might feel it. Sorry, I'm in a misogynist mood, gearing up for this bachelor party.

Andrew said...

I like to purposely ignore hot girls in public to show them that they aren't that important. I look at them slightly, then turn my nose up as I turn my head.

While you may be pretty, Pretty Girl, you are not hot shit & you are not better than anyone else. And my obvious ignoring of you proves just that.

BeckEye said...

I hate being set up. It rarely works out well. I remember at one job, all the women I worked with would talk about how much they hated their husbands for a half hour and then one would finally say, "Hey, I have a guy for you." Misery loves company, I guess.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Andrew: Yes. Let them know you don't give a shit about them or their hotness. It's all about playing games like that. Weird, right?

Beck: Yeah, they're all miserable, and they want you to be as miserable as them. Join the party!!!!!

Miss Organizized said...

Just remember, games work, but in the end...everyone loses. If you're a good guy, you end up feeling like an asshole. If you're an asshole, well then yeah, you're already a loser.

But I do agree, SOME hot girls mos def need to be taken down a notch.

Vodka and Ground Beef said...

No one ever sets me up. It must be because I'm way too pretty? Right?

Thanks Dr.Ken. I thought I was going to die alone too, but now that I know I'm just way too pretty, at least I'll die alone feeling hot.

Cheers.

radioactive girl said...

A couple weekends ago I went out with some single friends and felt like I was in some crazy different country with the way dating seems these days. (I realize that makes me sound really old, and I'm not, but maybe soon I should start telling kids to get off my lawn?)

Anyway, I totally don't "get" dating and all the rules. I do not have time for all of that. I think I might die alone too but with 4 kids and a dog.

Heff said...

Don't rule out "Tens" entirely, dude !!

Ever hear of "Ugly Duckling Syndrome" ? Nice hotties DO exist !!!

bschooled said...

I once heard the song "Dude Look Like A Lady," when my co-worker tried setting me up with her son.

I think she was in denial.