Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Stop! Thief!

I just had a bike stolen for the 2nd summer in a row. It's a new summer tradition I'm starting. It's getting to be an expensive tradition, but it's one that I think will continue whether I want it to or not.

Whenever shit like this happens it just makes me so mad that there are people out there who do this kind of thing. One wonders if they even feel bad about it. I'll tell you one thing, this asshole won't make any money off the my $150 Target bike, but he has horribly inconvenienced me, because now I have to take the fricking bus to work. You know what I hate about buses? Waiting. You know what else? Stopping. On m bike it may take me a while to get somewhere but I never stop.

Would anyone object if in the future I catch a bike stealer and beat the ever-loving* shit out of him? Objections . . . ?

*Where did this phrase come from?

9 comments:

laura said...

First Jesus falls off the radar, then your bike follows.

Just a guess. Of course, I am probably going straight to hell for accusing a lovely street person of Chicago with theft.

Jenny said...

Sorry to hear about this annual tradition. You had a premontion about this a few posts ago, so you must never talk about it again when you get another bike. If you need some south side muscle, with mulleted father and son duos to help you out, let me know. I think I can pull a few strings or at least bail some people out of jail.

youbanks said...

"Oh Venkmen..Venkmen, I'm sorry."

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Laura- Jesus has ran off with my bike! Hopefully he's pedaling my cheap, Target bike somewhere warm.

Jenny- I didn't know you had access to mulleted goons. If only I had known sooner . . .

Neil- "It smells like burnt dog hair in here . . ."

ocg said...

I can not believe this... it's horrible.

I am so sorry that you got yet another bike stolen.

Maybe you need to get a different bike lock...

;-)

Steph said...

Theiving bastards should have the everlovin shit beat out of them!
We are surrounded by fucktards my friend. light fingered ones at that.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

OCG- I bought a kickass bike lock today. I also bought a new bike for 70 bucks at this non-for-profit joint that fixes up old bikes. I really dig my new bike.

Steph- Glad you are on board with punishment for the thiefs. Fucktards might be a little harsh though. At least, I think it's harsh. I'm not entirely sure if I know what it means, but it has a nice ring to it.

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