Sunday, January 29, 2012

Updates Nobody Gives a Good God Damn About

I'm sick and barely left my bed today, and I'm reading two books I got at the dollar store, one of which sucks.

I miss my long distance girlfriend, the lovely Miss LSD, but I'm happy she's going to see Neal Brennan and Bill Burr per my recommendation, 5 blocks from her house for 5 bucks.

The word of the day is pederast, as in, "He had to go door-to-door to tell everyone he was a pederast."

It turns out the NFL Prowbowl is really stupid. It's like they don't hit each other, and you're almost a dick if you try to break a tackle. Why not just make the thing two-hand touch or have them hang sweat socks off their belts and play flag? Piss poor. What's worse is that this year they're letting the players tweet during the game. Wait, one more dumb thing is that the two best teams don't represent players because they play in a real game next week called "The Super Bowl."

So like NFL players like Ocho Cinco, I am pretty active on Twitter lately. I guess it's just that I like people to immediately tell me I'm funny, and blogger doesn't allow for that nearly as well, except for Sybil Law who comments immediately, and I'm grateful for that. Don't worry, Seven Readers, I'll always be a blogger, whether people read or not.

Remember when you were a kid and a Big Mac was like the biggest thing on earth? I remember the day I finished one was the day I became a man. Now I think I could knock down three if I had to, so what's that make me?

4 comments:

sybil law said...

Shout out - oh nice!!
Probowl is stupid, with less jazz hands.
I'm watching Liam Neeson - he is crazy, ridiculous hot.

Gorilla Bananas said...

And the first guy whose door he knocked on looked like a redneck who wrestled with bulls in his spare time.
Isn't tweeting a bit difficult when you're running around a football field?

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Sybil: I have to give props to my most frequent commenter. Did you stop blogging?

Gorilla: Have you seen the Pro Bowl? They don't even tackle. It's silly and weird to watch. I don't know how to relate it to you in terms of soccer or something, but just trust me when I say it's lame as all get out. You just can't have them hitting each other and running the risk of getting hurt in an exhibition game, but at the same time, without hitting, it's not football. That was a long comment. I can't sleep, Gorilla Bananas!!!

sybil law said...

Stop blogging? no! My blog is private, now. Didn't I send you an invite? It doesn't post on reader now, for some reason. I'll message you.