Helen “Nellie” Taft (1909-1913)
Grace Coolidge (1923-1929)
Apparently Coolidge was a boring dude, but his wife was a lot of fun. It says she loved baseball and even spent a lot of time in the Red Sox dugout. It didn't say anything about what she was doing with the ballplayers in the dugout, but I think they were kissing her on the strikes and she was kissing them on the balls.
Martha Washington (1789-1787)
A painting? What a rip-off! I can't really tell if she's hot from a painting, and what's worse, I can't tell if she has a nice booty either with that giant, poofy dress. Still, remember George never told a lie? It was said that Martha's dad confronted a young George who had just been shtupping her. George said, "I cannot tell a lie. I popped her cherry." True story. Look it up.
Betty Ford (1974-1977)
Here we see Betty Ford playing field hockey, probably drunk off her ass. That's right, she was the alcoholic first lady who later founded the Betty Ford Clinic when she cleaned up. And got boring.
Michelle Obama (2009-)
Jacqueline Kennedy (1961-1963)
Okay, game over! Put your stupid paintings away because no First Lady has come even close to this fine. When I typed "First" just then, I accidentally wrote "Fist," so that goes to show you where my mind goes when I see this picture. Then we have the nude ones . . .
These were the pictures famously published by Hustler magazine. I really can't come up with a funnier caption than the one used where I found these pics online: " As you can see, even though she was a lifelong Democrat, she still supported bush."
Okay, that's it, Seven Readers. Who do you vote for? Any write-ins? Cast a vote. For America.