Sunday, March 29, 2015

Walmart: It's Sad In There

I had to go to Walmart for something, and I learned that Walmart is just about the saddest place in America.  I was looking for knee pads for volleyball, and no one seemed to know a damn thing about them.  They would stop other staff members and ask them, and each person knew nothing.  Then they called over the intercom for someone for sporting goods to come over, and no one came.  The more I think about it, all the people working there seemed to be just wandering sadly and aimlessly.  I didn't take it personally that no one gave a shit.  They just seem to have really crummy jobs.

"Anything I can help you with, or shall I flag someone else down who doesn't know anything about this dump?"
Anyway, while I was there I picked up a pair of pants to wear to work.  I left the newly purchased pants folded up as is and put them into my gym bag to wear the next day.  After the next morning's workout, I'm walking to my car and hear, "Hey, boss.  You get some new pants?"  I said, "I have tags on my pants don't I?"  To which he said with a chuckle, "All over, dude."

First off, he was very much a gym bro-type-guy, a little condescending, and I don't like being called boss by people who aren't my employees.*  However, it was nice of him to let me know so that I didn't walk into work with size 34 x 34 all up and down the back of my pants.  That's why I didn't notice the tags when I put them on - they were all on the back.  That's no excuse.  It was pretty stupid on my part.  Sometimes I think I might be dumb enough to work at Walmart.

wI don't have any employees.


sad king billy (pilgrim) said...

yeah, it seems every time i go to walmart to pick something up i walk out empty handed. i guess that's why even old farts like me end up shopping on-line these days.

Gorilla Bananas said...

Suppose you'd gone into work with the tags showing. Couldn't you have brazened it out as your style revolution? It might have led to a new fashion.

Kenneth Noisewater said...

Sad King: Funny, because I was like 2 minutes from walking out with nothing too.

Gorilla: Yeah, I could have either played it that way or let them know that this was the baseline for the weight I would be taking off my waist.

Jimmy Fungus said...

Well, think about it... they sell like 900 million products at Walmart. If someone had a brain big enough to be an expert on 900 million products they could be a super villain in Gotham city and not working at Walmart. Maybe they should have a computer in each department where they could look things up when the department manager is not around, but they barely have more than one price checker these days.

Cocaine Princess said...

Each time I go into Walmart it's like a damn zoo. I try to avoid it as much as I can but once in awhile I go in there when I need to pick something up.

Hmm, perhaps you should have gone in there with a picture of knee pads-- perhaps the Walmart employees would have understood better. Hehe...

Mr. Shife said...

I hate going to Wal Mart. It feels like I need to visit an eye wash station to rid myself of the occular trauma. And you are right on about the sadness. Do you get called boss a lot? I think in the past week I have encountered 3 or 4 dudes that have called me that. Maybe I was a warden in a previous life? Have a good one, Dr. Ken.

Kenneth Noisewater said...

Jimmy: It's rough in there, man. It's not just that they don't know the information - they just don't care. And I don't blame them.

Coke: I should have gone in there wearing them. Maybe dive around a little. They needed some pepping up. Some entertainment. It was fricking a downer in there.

Shife: I guess we just give off a boss vibe. Dudes that are dumb enough to wear their tags on their pangs are probably not management material, so that's likely getting called boss in the ironic sense.