Thursday, April 16, 2015

I Guess I'm Mad Max?

I got this late night hamburger joint with awesome burgers, and it's right by my house.  During a long night of drinking, Auto Pilot Dr. Ken directs his taxi cab driver to pull right up to that place.  I then grab my sack of burgers, walk home, and find a good movie to watch on Netflix.

The other night I went in there with Mrs. Noisewater, and the lady at the counter said, "Oh, hey Mad Max!"  Evidently I was in there one night telling her that I was going to watch a "Mad Max" film that night whilst consuming burgers.  I was astonished that she had never heard of the one and only Mad Max, post apocalyptic hero in a world fighting over precious oil.  I didn't ask much more about our conversation that night because Mad Max (that's me) was a little embarrassed.  

I never understood how those marauders in the Mad Max films found oil such a precious and dwindling commodity, yet they built giant V8 monstrosities and just went around cruising, looking for trouble in their S & M outfits.  You would think they would only drive somewhere when they absolutely had to.  I guess the more I think about it, marauding S & M types wouldn't likely be conservationists.

Anyway, I really do have to slow down on the drinking and late night eating.  All those burgers and beer are rough on the waist line, and the alcohol could make my mind slower.  What I'm trying to say is that if the apocalypse goes down I'll need to have my mind sharp and look sexy in my leather bondage outfit.

My outfit will likely be like the one second from the left.



6 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

Mad Max was probably the least mad character in the second movie. I can't remember all the details, but I do remember all the hot, sweaty viciousness. Is that what you liked about it?

Yeah, cut down on the red meat - your wife will thank you when you're 50.

sad king billy (pilgrim) said...

yes, alcohol killed a lot of my brain cells but at least i can look back and say i got my money's worth. pity the poor slobs who never drank and still lost their brain cells.

Cocaine Princess said...

There's a remake of Mad Max coming out soon.

Mr. Shife said...

Plus you got to slim down for your upcoming nuptials, Dr. Ken. You want to look good in that powder blue tuxedo, right?

Jimmy Fungus said...

Don't worry about burgers and beer on the waist line. If the world is heading into an apocalyptical nightmare then you might as well enjoy them now, because once the shit hits the fan, Mel Gibson's gang of punks will hoarde all the burgers and beer for themselves.

Kenneth Noisewater said...

Gorilla: I think the S & M weirdness is a big part of what I like about "Road Warriors." That shit's hilarious.

Coke: The remake comes out in a few weeks, actually. I don't think it's quite a remake. I believe it takes place between the first two films. I am a nerd . . .

Shife: Very true. I'm having a nice healthy shake right now. Right before the 15 beers I will wash it down with.

Jimmy: Very true. Those films would have made a lot more sense to me had they been fighting over burgers and beer.