Friday, October 05, 2018

Clearing Out the Phone Notepad

When I haven't blogged in a while, I like to just go through the phone and see all the random blog topic notes I have and type up those ideas right quick. Here goes.

1. I drive young Erik Noisewater to daycare every morning in his rear-facing car seat on my way to work, and the other day when I was pulled through the drive through to order a coffee and a muffin I heard him say, "Want some muffin! Want some muffin!" It is easy to forget that he is always listening. He reminds me of the alien on The Simpsons who is in the soundproof thing backstage of the Jerry Springer Show but you hear him bellowing, "I Hear All!" That's Erik Noisewater.

So I tried to outsmart him by ordering a bagel with my coffee, because while I'm sure he would like it if he tried it, I don't think he is familiar with the word bagel. But then as they're handing me my order he says, "I want a bite!" He remembered where he was and knew I was getting grub. Dang it. So with the muffin and the bagel alike, I reached back there and plopped bites into his mouth without turning around. We got it down pat, him and I.

2. Did I tell you that Erik likes to drop little color capsules into his tub to turn the water funny colors? While he is finishing up his dinner he says, "I want blue bath!" for example. You can also do things like throw a red and blue one in there and make purple, so it's science and art lessons and shit. Some nights he wants a yellow bath and it looks like he's soaking in 15 to 20 two-liter bottles of Mountain Dew. Then when we take him out to dry him off he gets pissed off because he wants the drying off to be over and the running around naked to begin. He says, "Go see mommy!" or "Go see Da-Da!" It's funny because when his mom was out of town he had no problem staying in the bathroom for teeth brushing, lotion, or anything else. He knew he had no audience waiting outside.

But when the other parent is outside the bathroom he comes out with a big smile and says, "Naked baby! Woo-Woo-Woo!" And if I'm sitting on the couch he wants to climb up there and go from a standing position to an immediate hard drop down onto his butt. He goes up and down saying, "boing-boing!" And then the other night he says, "Naked boing-boings?" I told him naked boing-boings is how would be attempting to make his baby sister later that evening. That got an annoyed smile and sigh out of the wife, which is way better than a laugh when you're married.

3. Today is Friday and my 2nd marathon is Sunday. 26.2 miles all over the city from China Town to Boys Town (the gay neighborhood). I picked up some thrift store clothes to throw away the day of the race. A lot of people do it, just fling their 4 dollar shirts and pants over a fence to be collected later for donations. I got some definite great scores, and what I really wanted, I found: break-away snap up pants like the professional basketball players wear so I can rip them off and throw them like a total hardass. It will look like I'm ready to put on an impressive display of athleticism, but I will be trotting through some pretty slow-ass miles in reality.


That's all I got today, folks. Sorry for such a short one and for no pictures, but I'm on a crummy computer. What you all got on tap for this fine weekend? What kind of "marathon" sounds a lot better in your minds?


Mr. Shife said...

Good luck on Sunday and hope to see some pics of your outfit. And it's good to hear some more stories from the kid. They do keep us busy and entertained. It's hard to imagine life before they were around.

Exile on Pain Street said...

You are a badass for running a marathon. I run but just don't have it in me to do 26 miles. I don't even like to drive 26 miles. I'm surely not going to run them.

I like the new parent insights. Takes me back.

Kono said...

You may find out the boy runs around naked until he starts sprouting hair on his nuts, the eldest boyo stopped walking around naked sometime last year while the youngest boyo still has no issues strutting around in the buff. Enjoy it man cuz it goes fast, i'll be thinking about college and shit sooner rather than later, feels like i blinked. Bath bombs rule!! When Erik older you can get him the one with the weird toys in the middle, i think i like them more than the boyos, i have a secret stash lol!!

Kenneth Noisewater said...

Shifty: It was a fun race. Got a PR, but I for sure hit the wall so something went wrong for me.

Exile: It was mostly fun, and then the last 6 or 7 were hell. Parenting is almost entirely fun at this point.

Kono: The nude stuff will get weirder as he gets older for sure. I have to look into this toy you're speaking of, seeing as I'm a guy who likes the toys as much as the kid as well.