Yesterday, I hitched a ride with some coworkers to a company-paid, birthday lunch for another coworker, and I noticed a few surprisingly respectable songs in a row on a disc that the driver was spinning. I say surprising, because she has never struck me as an Arctic Monkeys fan - I had her pegged as a casual fan of rock music, who would default to something like Coldplay. As it turns out, the disc was made by a guy who she went out with a few times. Sidebar, this gal seems to go on like three dates a week, and the first time I had a conversation beyond hello with her, I felt like I was on a date. She was grilling me with a guided barrage of questions. People with that bad of a sense of urgency to find someone scare the shit out of me.
Mix Tape Guy* guy was evidently scared too, because he dumped her after three dates. I find it strange, as did she, that before dumping her, he acted all chipper on the phone when he made plans to see her at a coffee shop to dump her. There was no need for the face-to-face dump after three dates, even with the mix tape propelling the relationship**, and by making her meet him out, he disrupted her whole day.
ANYWAY, given the fact that I could tell she thought the guy was a putz, I was surprised to see that the disc was still in rotation in her car. This gave me a reassuring feeling that there may be girls out there bumping my mix tapes, even though some of them*** may be saying something akin to, "Fuck Gancer and the camry he rode in on!" I put a lot of time into my mix tapes, and I truly do think about each and every track in terms of the likely-hood that she will like it, given everything I know about the person. I 
don't simply reburn a set playlist. I certainly don't burn an entire mix tape of the same song over and over, like my sister's psychotic, college roommate, song being In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel. Actually, that might be an easy way out of a relationshit, because any woman would be horrified by such a nutty move. ANYWAY, Because of my strong feelings about these CD's, I'm glad that the carefully chosen songs by bands I love are being spread to people she knows, and maybe even burned onto NEW mix tapes, and then maybe that person makes YET ANOTHER mix tape . . . Staggering, I know.How about you, Seven Readers? Do you have any relationship-based mix tape stories?
*I'm going to call mix CD's mix tapes throughout this whole post. However innacurate it may be, mix tape is not a term I'm willing to let go.
**That was a joke by the way. I'm don't put quite THAT much stock in the power of the mix tape.
***By that I mean roughly all of them.
38 comments:
I swear to God everyone knows some girl who has made a mix tape of "In Your Eyes" or Phil Collins' "True Colors" back to back to back.
I've always said there are fewer gifts that mean as much as a mixed tape. When someone has taken the time to pick each song individually just for you. Especially when they take special thought in placing each of these songs.
Damn, I love mixed tapes.
ok, i haven't made a mix tape in over a decade. and yes, it was a mix tape, and yes, it involved a dual cassette deck, AND a cd player. do i think she's still rockin' it? prolly not. since, i'm guessing she doesn't have a tape deck handy. however, i have only ever been given ONE mix tape my entire life, and.it.sucked. the girl was all about grunge and shit, so the mix tape was ALL PEARLJAM. i swear. i think she just rearranged the order of the songs. there may have been tesla's love song on there, and a couple others, but seriously, mostly pearljam. HOW IS YELLOW LEDBETTER A GOOD SONG FOR A MIXTAPE!?!?!?! I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT HE'S SAYING AND IT MAKES ME WANT TO PUNCH YOU FOR EVEN THINKING I LIKE THIS SHIT IN THE FIRST PLACE! amazingly, a few years later, she'd admit to being a full on lezbo. i like to think i had something to do with that.
Ah, the power of a truly good mix tape. It can spread a girl's legs like a hot knife through butter. Either that, or I'm just easy.
My boy made me THREE mix cds of songs that mean something to me or us. Best gift ever and one I'll something I will always keep.
That roomate tape of the same song SUCKED!!!!! Talk about making you hate a song you used to like. I made a mixed tape for my ex-husband right when we first got together. Apparently, it was his favorite gesture I made towards him. He wondered why there weren't many more mixed tapes to follow. I think it kind of ages you though. I have a girlfriend who made fun of another friend's boyfriend who made her a mixed tape as if it was etremely juvenile. HOWEVER, it is pretty personal . . . as long as it isn't all Pearl Jam.
I truly cherish one of the mixed tapes my ex made me. When my grandmother passed away, he gave me a CD of Amazing Grace and several other beautiful songs that reminded me of her.
I'm getting verclempt just typing this.
Great post, Doc.
The power of the mix tape lives on! I still have several mix tape CDs that I cannot throw out...it's not the music's fault it didn't work out, right?
On a side note, I'm a bit disturbed that just because a lady asks questions, you assume she's got "that bad a sense of urgency to find someone". Perhaps you just have a sense of urgency to avoid commitment? Anyway, I was just thinking that maybe it isn't the urgency scaring 'em off, but after three dates she isn't willing to put out. ;) But hey, she got a mix tape...there was something there.
24: Wait, Phil Collins did a version of True Colors? I just know the Cindy Lauper one.
Chudly: That chick totally just changed the order of Pearl Jam 10. Hahahhha! FYI, did you know that the album is called 10 because they were big fans of Mookie Blaylock, who wore that number, AND for a brief while they were called Mookie Blaylock Band?
Charming: Either you're easy or guys are making you BOMB-ass mix tapes.
Steph: Nice. Good to know you're still spinning those.
Sis: Didn't he give you a ring right after you gave him that tape?
Bottle: That was nice of him! A mourning mix tape . . .
Sassy: You know me all too well. Actually, you're probably right, but seriously, she does seem a little intense with the dating.
Comment Deleted: Last post you deleted one comment, and this week it is two. Way to increase productivity!!
Hell yes I keep them. I'm not breaking up with music, unless it sucked anyway.
Chud, you crack me up, man.
And that girl's mix-tape is like the musical equivalent of Jack Nicholson in The Shining. What did she call that cd?
Mix tapes are the best. I had an ex make me an actual mix tape about 2 years ago (backed up on CD of course). We didn't last long but I still listen to the mix all the time.
At my old work we would do a mix tape challenge - talk about an awesome way to boost morale!
She got a mix tape after three dates?? I had to wait a solid year! And ain't nothing wrong with Coldplay!
My ex used to put a whole slew of different genres of songs. Slow. Rap. R&B. Rock. It was actually pretty cool. Unfortunately there were a lot of songs that reminded me of him after we broke up. But I'm over that now.
First of all, so@24 - did Phil Collins sing True Colours? I thought Cyndi Lauper did that?! oh boy I'm getting old.
Anyhoo, I made a mixed cd the other week for my friend. Her ex-husband died and so I made her a compilation Cd out of all the songs I thought would make her laugh, cry and want to hang herself in grief. I had everyone from Van Morrison (it stoned me) to Pearl Jam (Jeremy) to some African haunting lullaby shit.
I don't know. It was the least I could do.
Nope sorry dear Dr. nothing to share about mix tapes. However, there was an awesome moment in "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" recently involving a mix tape.
So wait..they had only gone on 3 dates and he made her a mixed tape? Did I miss something? There has to be some sort of buffer period before you can actually give someone a mixed tape that isn't a recycled playlist.
my friend copied me a mix tape this guy made for her older sister, it was full of indie heartbreak 'she likes my friend' songs. no meaning there i guess.
i love mix tapes. the first music i ever owned was mix tapes my sister made - carefully timing her taping from the radio to skip the annoying radio tag they played over the first couple of seconds of the song.
When I lived in NYC and LP lived in TN I used to make her mix tapes all of the time. We still have them... and they have stood the test of time.
I LOVE mix tapes (one word, or two???)
I still have every mix tape/cd that was ever given to me, although the ones pre-husband are in a box somewhere. Wait...that makes it sound like I have gotten mix tapes post husband too, which isn't true. The ones my husband didn't give me are put away even though I don't think he would care if they were out. Mix tapes are cool, and I will end with that.
Whenever I have a song that was put on a mix tape(CD) pop up in my shuffle it's hard not to think about the good times surrounding the creation, no matter how poorly things ended. Maybe that's just me, or maybe I just hope that any mixes that I've made have that effect. You can now cue the sad soundtrack music, might I suggest "Is this Music" by Teenage Fanclub?
My ex made me a mix tape (in CD form) that I cherished and loved and took very seriously, even way after our relationship, and then I found out that he put the same songs on mixes for lots of girls. Fucker.
Also, all the other mixes he made me were not my style at all. I once heard a mix of his (he was really into mix tapes) in a mutual friend's car and asked for a copy and he said he didn't think I'd like it. After all the shit I already didn't like he'd given me, he didn't want to give me one I was requesting? What!
If putting together good musical sequences correlated to good relationship potential--wouldn't the nerds who run Pandora.com be, like, the Lotharios of the Universe?
I am thinking there is maybe an inverse correlation: Like when you hand a woman a great mix tape, she subliminally thinks, "Thanks, DJ Boy! I will listen to this mix tape with a guy I will have sex with; which is someone other than you!"
I could be wrong.
I am just throwing out that theory to move the discussion forward.
An all Ten Pearl Jam mixed tape in a different order with all the b-sides would be one of the greatest gifts ever.
Eve: Your Shining comparison is right on the money.
Chardonnay: I challenge you and ALL your coworkers to a mix tape challenge. To the death!
Airam: I know you're over him, because you posted the picture of you hugging him, and you said you feel nothing now when you look at it. You really only posted that to show off your rear-end. I'm not complaining though. Congratulations, you have a new reader. Chud will be over there ASAP.
Betty: You're right. I pointed that out too, but maybe Phil did do a killer version that we've forgotten.
Shife: I have to see that episode. I'm sure they were inspired by reading my blog. After all, there is a writer's strike right now, so they're hard up for ideas.
Elyse: I initiate the mix tape early on, but only if the gal expresses some interest in my music. However, in the early stages we all express interest in the other person's interests, so maybe I SHOULD hold off.
Non-Blonde: Yes!! There used to be an artistry to it when you used tapes. It was all about that pause button . . .
Niner: I'm sure they have. You're one of the only guys crazier about rock music than me. You saw 5 better concerts than I've ever seen by the time you were 12.
Radioactive: Yeah, that's bad form to listen to the pre-husband tapes right in front of the husband, unless you're making fun of it with him, like if the dude put a bunch of shitty songs on it.
Classy: It is good to think of the good times, but I tend to get bummed if a song at all reminds me of a chick. That's just my nature.
Sequined: That guy doesn't get it. You have to taylor-make each one, or it just cheapens it. Good thing you got rid of him.
Zen: I hope girls aren't boning to my mixes right now, but then again, maybe that would be cool.
TNobes: Spoken like a true PJ fan! Way to put your two cents in, buddy. See you and the lady Wed at the softball party?
ok, first of all to tnobes... maybe for YOU that would be cool. back in the day when i got that mix tape, i was all about punk and rap. so, a mix tape with the dead milkmen "punk rock girl", easy-e "automobile" would have been far more endearing.
and ken, seriously, i need to finish reading what you write in the comments before acting. i saw the comment about airam and went straight to her site, and trolled the november posts to find the picture. seriously... if i had a teacher with an ass like that, no way i'd get any work done. i'd be praying she just keeps writing on the chalkboard. and maybe, writing up at the very top so she has to really reach for it. hehe. yeah, now that i've creeped her out, i think i'm actually gonna read some posts of hers. you know, out of consideration for leering at her can.
I've made a mix tape for each of the boyfriends I've had. My current boyfriend even made me one! The only problem is, I accidently left it in the car I just traded in...ooops!
But really, I love making mix tapes for people I care about. I think it helps them know me better as well as I can get a sense of who they are with their reactions to the songs I've picked.
Doc,
Which do you think it is?
I like that you're holding out w/ the term "mix tapes". Maybe centuries from now historian will feel the need to investigate why in the world burnt CDs are called tapes (like, why is it called football).
Also, interested in the whole needing a face-to-face to dump a 3 dater. Definitely agree. But is there a minimum for even having to break it off? I dated a girl twice and felt that a break-off would be way-exagerating our relationship. But she was annoyed. Was I to blame? Help me solve this problem from 10 years ago DR.!!
Consider this--what if, like me,
1) You REALIZE that your taste in music is horrendous;
2) So you HIRE A DUDE who has great taste in music to make a mix tape for a woman you are interested in;
3) She loves the tape, and based on the tape, dutifully puts out on the third date (or fifth date, if you are in a Commonwealth country);
4) Things progress, and you are eventually married by an Elvis impersonator in Vegas;
5) Only to live happily ever after.
Wasn't your whole life, therefore, a facade?
Would she have been happier with this Cyrano de Bergerac of the diamond record stylus?
drunken chud: I hear you. Back around that time I probably woulda rather had a rap / punk rock mix as well. I still throw on the old skool rap from time to time. One of the reasons why I will keep my sirius.
swanny: what is this softball party I keep hearing about, let me know the details.
Happy Thanksgiving!
I still make the same Mix tape today only I do on the computer. A lot of girls like my stuff back in the day, but my wife would probably laugh at me if I gave her one. Good stuff man. Happy Thanksgiving!
What a great idea! Me gonna try it. Me never considered making a tape fer a chick.
That will save me a lot of money cuz Me always hired a mariachi band to follow me around on me dates.
Chudly: Glad I could direct you to some good "reading."
Rev: I can't agree more. I love it when they tell which songs they like.
Chard: You mean is it that mix tapes go over well with you or you're just easy? I don't know. Why don't I make you a tape, and we'll find out one way or another.
Chuck: WOW! Chuckdaddy back from the dead! It's good to hear from you, man. How's the kid? As far as that situation, a two-dater can just be blown off. You know, the stop-calling move.
Zen: I love this scenario you've concocted. I'd like to put that theory to the test. It's a win-win for me. I get my mix-tapes out there, and I may have girls "discover" that it was me who made the tape, and then they want to do naughty things with me. You're a genius . . .
Nobes: You missed the party!!!! Nobody called you?
Airam: You too. Sorry Chud and I talked about your butt.
Cork: Make the wife one! I made a mix-tape for my eight-year-old nephew. For some reason I thought he'd get a bang out of Kung Fu Fighting and a bunch of songs about Robots. I was right.
Scary: Ha!! I would love to have a mariachi band following me around, playing tunes inspired by my life. They would be some boring songs.
I have never been good at making the mix tape and I have never dated anyone who made me one. This whole discussion has made me nostalgic for that which I have not had, so perhaps like kissing the frog prince, I will marry the guy who makes me a worthy mix tape.
Law: Is it me, or do you always comment on my posts after I've already done another one. So, I don't see it for like weeks later. Either way, glad you made it, and I'd love to mix you up a bomb-ass tape. I wouldn't require you to marry me though, because you'd be using your skills to draft the divorce documents eight months later.
In this case, I commented after the fact because a) my computer died recently although it has been brought back to life and b) because I was out of town for Thanksgiving sans internets. I haven't had a chance to appropriately comment on your latest post, but I figure you enjoy the love no matter how belated it is received.
Create a mix tape away! I won't enforce any oral promises regarding matrimony.
Lawyer: I will make you a great mix, as soon as you come back from the dead.
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