Monday, April 20, 2009

Jimbo

Here are some reasons, in no particular order, why I think my new roommate is going to work out just fine.

He hails from Alabama, and he kind of talks like Wooderson, Matthew McConaughey's character in Dazed and Confused, which leads me to ask him to say lines like, "I get older, and they stay the same age. Yes they do."

I wouldn't call him a heavy drinker, but he has a Jim Beam or two every few nights. The other day he was making chili, and he reaches for the bottle of Beam and says, "Eh, what the hell. I'll pour a little 'Jimmy' in there." I asked him what does that do for the dish, and he had no idea. When he had finished his masterpiece, he says, "You know, you can actually taste the Jimbo in there." I would have thought that a bad thing, but he followed it up with, "It's real good."

It's getting nicer out in Chicago, and he had not seen the lake yet. He told me that he walked down to the lake, stopped to do a few sets of pull-ups on a tree branch, and as he's telling me this, he was showing me the scrapes on his hands. That's a man's man right there.

All five roomies participated in a night of margaritas, and he said, "I think I have the heartburn." The heartburn. Perhaps that's one you would have to hear him say to get how it's funny . . .

He's seriously considering brewing up some peach moonshine in the apartment.

I wanted to go to Aldi because I'm broke and needed lots of groceries, and knowing he had just got back from grocery shopping, I said, "You should go along just to make fun of weirdos." I was kidding, but he came along. And we did poke fun at a great deal of weirdos.

He pays rent, he's clean, and he's a gentleman. You would think this one would be the biggest reason, but I think the best thing is that he affectionately refers to his bottle of Beam as Jimbo.

13 comments:

Michael5000 said...

I drew up plans for a home still once, but never went through with it. My hat is off to anyone who makes their own hard alcohol.

TOPolk said...

Jimbo...JB...JimmyB...Beam. All affectionate names. And don't get me started on Gentleman Jack. People talk about that brand of JB like it's their best friend.

radioactive girl said...

The heartburn is hysterical to me. I had a friend in college who did that same kind of thing. That will always make me laugh!

Mr. Shife said...

Yep he would have me at Jimbo too.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

5000: You make quilts and not booze?! I think you need to expand your portfolio in '09. : )

Polk: The bottle can be your only friend, kind of like Jon Bon says in Never Say Goodbye.

Radio: THE heartburn. So funny to me.

Shife: Ha! Always a bomb commenter . . . Your son would be proud!

Heff said...

You got you a real good roomie there if he puts alcoholic beverages in homemade chilli. That's good stuff.

The Charming Hedonist said...

Jimbo happens to be one of my favorite men. And you've gotta love anyone who will go along to make fun of the weirdos.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Heff: Can't beat that. I had a bite, and it wasn't half bad. I didn't really taste the Jimbo in it.

CHarm: Yes! Weirdo watching makes one feel better about oneself.

Ms Smack said...

Hey mate. Glad it's all working out for you. I had a roomie once and he was a bugger. He ate all the food and spent his money on smokes instead. AND, get this, he was an older man, and he wore g-strings (thongs!) EWWWWWWWWWWWWW

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Yeah, I kinda like him too...

The [Cherry] Ride said...

Love the heartburn comment too.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Smack: Did he eat all the food and smoke in the kitchen in his thong?

Candy: Can't help but like a guy like that.

Cherry: THE heartburn. Kind of like THE shart. Damn near did one of those today.

Zen Wizard said...

"Jimbo"--that's a new one.

Aldi to me is like that Steven King novel where everyone in the small town touched the spaceship and instantly could read each other's thoughts. Everyone BUT ME in the whole store touched the spaceship, and "gets" that store. Here is what I THINK Aldi is all about:

For the quarter donation to the shopping cart "secret society," you are allowed to purchase Shur-fine peanut butter cookies for 2.99. I am not sure that is the whole "trip," and I am not sure I want to ever go back there and figure it out. But I think that some ingredient in Shur-fine cookies makes you actually believe the front page of the National Enquirer.