Sunday, July 17, 2011

My Nephew Is Gifted . . .

. . . at Battleship.

He's a first grader and he was playing the seventh grade nephew in the classic naval battle game. It was clear that the little guy wasn't fully understanding how the game worked, so Uncle Ken was helping him along.

He got hits in like 3 out of his first 4 guesses, and each time I'd try to explain that he should keep guessing near those hit to sink them. He proved me wrong by finding new boats, which really is better - if you're gifted at Battleship.

When the older one would guess somewhere, the little guy would say it was a hit when it was really a miss, and I'd say, "You hit water," so then we were all saying it and laughing. I recommend saying that next time you play, with a pause: "You hit! . . . water."

The older one said that there is a black Battleship that has sound effects, and I let him know that they had that thing in the 80's, and I wanted it every Christmas, circling it in the Sears Catalog but never finding it under the old tree.

Later, while playing at the park, the 4th grader (there are three - he wasn't playing the Battleship) said out of nowhere, "butt licorice." I asked him just what in the hell that means, I think in those exact words (I swear a lot around them, but I'm working on it), and he said, "I just made it up." I think he's also gifted. At saying awesome stuff because that's pretty amazing. I think it could be an Urban Dictionary term for when you have that awful black poops or maybe even a band's record title. Better yet, a backup bands' name like Dr. Kenneth Noisewater and the Butt Licorice Experience.

Is any of this at all interesting or funny?

Is this thing on?

12 comments:

Andrew said...

Butt licorice is now a part of my lexicon.

I've never played Battleship.

No, that thing isn't on.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Butt Licorice....that's a good one.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Andrew:
1. Good to hear. It's a keeper.
2. Let's play!
3. Thanks . . .

Candy: You see? He IS gifted.

JerseySjov said...

oh man, battleship. my brother and i were both wicked cheaters, so almost every game would devolve into tantrums and trying to sink each others' battlefaces with wooden blocks and ninja turtle figures... good times?

a chance to be a part of dr kenneth noisewater and the butt licorice experiment makes me want my mother to send me my old violin. or at least pick up a tambourine.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Jov: I think you should get both instruments to be in DKN-BLE. Maybe we can fashion a tambourine device to your hip that makes it slap when you shake your ass whilst playing the fiddle.

Just telling it like it is said...

Sweet score

Gorilla Bananas said...

Butt liquorice needs to go into the urban dictionary...after you've thought up a few apt definitions.

radioactive girl said...

That is hilarious! My youngest says random things similar to that all the time. Kids are way more funny than adults most of the time.

Sista said...

I'm so proud.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Just Telling: Yes. Butt licorice is going to create a revolution. Somehow.

GB: I have a couple ideas listed near the bottom of the blog. I'm not in love with them, so if you want to do a think tank, I'm good with that. : )

RG: Yeah, because they have the cute-ass delivery.

Sista: You should be. I think there was something funny in those tacos . . .

JerseySjov said...

i could just wear one of those belly dance skirts with the coins on it.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Yes. Even better. Good thinking. You're hired. You're part of the Butt Licorice Experience. Welcome aboard.