Tuesday, May 22, 2012

I'm Not Rob Anymore!

I have been putting off a lot of things because I'm moving in a couple weeks.  I'm not buying a lot of groceries and I'm not ordering anything to this apartment, which means I haven't ordered a new book to read.  A friend was over and gave me back my copy of "High Fidelity" by Nick Honrny, and while I am not even sure it is, in fact, my copy, I decided to give it another read. 

It's still a very funny and insightful book, but I can't fully relate to Rob, the protagonist, anymore.  There was a time, not long after I read it, where I was him, and most people who knew me would agree.  I was way too interested in rock music to a snobbish degree, I actually worked in a record store for a long time, and I got miserable over failed relationships and played sad songs until I cried.

I'm not that guy anymore.  I'm not Rob!


Even the last relationship I got out of, I was really hurt (even if it was painfully obvious to everyone around me that it was the wrong woman for me), but I bounced back beautifully.  I took all the right steps: Never called her again, cut off all mutual friends, work out like an animal, and got right back into the game with other women to feel good again as quickly as possible.

What I did 5 years prior was more like what Rob would have done: Wallow in self pitty spinning Smiths records, keep trying to figure out what went wrong, feel inadequate about myself in every way imaginable, and let it affect my personal and professional life to a marked degree.

Now look at me.  I'm getting my own place with the woman I love, leaving this frat house with the four roommates behind, I love my job and it's going great, I'm staying in shape - and at 35-years-old (the same age as Rob in the book), I'm finally an adult.  I should have been this guy when I was 27, but I have no regrets.  I grew up one way or another and I've had this blog full of goofy tales to mark my progress, albeit a slow process.  Thanks for reading those of you who have been along for the ride, and expect more grown-up style writing to come and some goofy stuff too  . . . I still gotta be me!

5 comments:

V said...

High Fidelity!!! Hah...I read that book when I had to do detention in college, spend 40 hours in the library for low attendance. I decided to read the book cos of the book cover and it turned out to be a really good read. Love it.
I think it's worth going through the Rob phase. cos when you eventually get out of it, you realize that you've learned a lot from the music, from yourself and from the memories- both good and bad. Not many people get to experience that.

sybil law said...

Yay! You're all growed up!
Seriously - everyone was Rob at some point. It's just a part of growing up, I guess. It doesn't really matter how old you are - at some point, you just have to be pathetic after a breakup. It's only sad if you're that way after EVERY breakup, and I know a LOT of people who are.

Radioactive Tori said...

I think, after that last heartbreak I had, I have been so much happier with who I am than ever before. I feel confident that I can do whatever I set out to do and it feels great. Not to say that I appreciate the heartbreak but sometimes you need something to make you wake up and see that you are only living half the life you should be. I have been reading here forever (not literally) and I love seeing how you have changed. Your relationship seems healthy and loving. She seems awesome and you are awesome. I am really so so happy for you. I think it's great that you love the place you are in life now...but don't lose the silliness please!

Gorilla Bananas said...

Ah, I remember that movie! It seemed a bit unrealistic because most chicks adore John Cuzack.

Anyway, I'm glad the long-distance thing has ended and you're moving in with your intended. Laugh a lot and make babies.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

V: Great point about a Rob phase. You got put into detention in college?

Sybil: Quite true. You gotta grow and can't keep repeating mistakes, excusing behaviors like that.

Radio: Very true, I don't even know how long you and I have been blog buddies. 5 or 6 years? Thanks . . .

Gorilla: Long distance is over for the summer, then she goes back to school for another 2 semesters, and then it's full force baby-making.