Tuesday, February 17, 2015

After work today I made a right onto a street with two lanes going in the same direction, and a guy in a mammoth tow trunk in the far lane laid on his horn.  Now, if he can't fit on the road, is that my problem?  I assumed that when he bought the thing he was planning on fitting on streets and what's more having room enough to pick up a car and tow it.  So despite the fact that he didn't seem to think the two of us could fit, he managed to pull up next to me and give me a dirty look.  Looks like we fit just fine.  Then he rolled his window down, glared at me, and then rolled it right back up.  I gave him a look like, "What do you want?"  He rolled it back down so I said, "Oh, I thought you were going to say something."  That came off like I was the world's biggest hard ass and I was being antagonistic.  But I really was just wondering if he was going to say something or not.  I told him, "I thought it was cool, you know, because it appears as if we both fit."  He said something threatening with the fuck word in it, which I think was "You had better watch the fuck out," or something.

That's the closest thing to the truck I could find, and it's blurry.  Whatever.  I'm going to bed.
There really is no need to get into conflicts with random weirdos, and this guy really did look off his nutter.  It's not important to be right.  Getting home safe and sound to your family is a way bigger deal.  We got conceal and carry in Illinois now so this guy could have shot me.  As a matter of fact, by the look on his face, if he had a pistol he certainly would have gunned me down right there on Ashland Avenue.  And my last words would have been, "I know your tow truck is extraordinarily wide, sir, but I was quite sure we could both fit in our respective lanes when I merged."

I always envisioned my last words would be wordy and descriptive.  

4 comments:

Jimmy Fungus said...

I hate when this happens when you are minding your own business and some random weirdo has to try to ruin your day acting like an ass. Too bad there isn't some kinda Karma Police on the road that will pull these guys over and give them a ticket for jackassery.

Andrew said...

I just Google Mapped Ashland Avenue & I don't see how he couldn't fit with you also there. Seems like he was just looking for a fight.

Gorilla Bananas said...

Hmm, he doesn't seem like the most articulate fellow. If I had been there I would have put a banana in his exhaust pipe.

Kenneth Noisewater said...

Jimmy: The problem is that he IS the karma police since he has the power to tow people. Now a jerk guy with a tow truck GETTING towed, now that would be the ultimate karma.

Andrew: Good homework, dude! I'm updating your page on the blogroll. No clue how that Asian gal with the foreign language blog got your url on the blogroll . . .

Gorilla: He was a scary looking tweaker. I'm lucky I didn't get killed. It's good to be alive, Gorilla.