Friday, June 17, 2016

3 Quick Items . . .

1. Being a Hater: I was out to dinner with my sister and her kids, and would you believe my oldest nephew is going off to college in the fall? I can hardly believe it myself. My sister was saying how he hates random things that no one else hates, like Matt Damon, and he is just like me in that respect. I got to thinking that of all the things I would like to pass onto him or have him emulate, being a hater is not one of them. Then it occurred to me that if I wouldn't want anyone I care about to be a hater, then just why in the heck do I think and act in such a way? It was an eye opener for sure.


2. Ikea: But can I just hate on one more thing? Ikea. Boy do I hate going to that place. It's enormous, and you have to walk through the whole place to find what you want. Then sometimes you're looking for the name of something, and it's in Swedish, you're looking for something called Ummergolongousmnaou with all those little Motley Crue dots over the vowels, and all those crazy long words look the same. Then you make a note of the bin location to find them in the giant warehouse by the check out area. Why don't they just have little computers where you can search for the stuff, put them all in your electronic cart, and then print out a list of all the stuff you want with the corresponding warehouse locations? Well, guess those greedy Swedes want me to find other stuff to buy. Well, I won't! Well, maybe a meatball and a Mountain Dew. But that's it. Then I have to go home and snap together their shoddy particle board crap furniture, and they always give me extra pieces!* God, do I ever hate Ikea!



3. The Demise of the Walk of Shame: Remember when you hooked up with someone, woke up the next morning in a strange house with a strange person, and you had no idea what part of town you were in? So you walked out the door, tried to get your bearings, you looked around for what train or bus to take or where you might catch a cab. Oh, the excitement! But even better, oh the laughs we had spotting someone who clearly had their clothes on from the night before, her high heels and mini skirt at 10AM on a Sunday, and the look of embarrassment on her face. That was fun, right? Well, now with Uber, she orders up her ride from the dude's apartment and steps right into a car. We only have that brief 15 second window of the house door to the car door to spot a modern day walk of shame, and I saw one last Saturday before my buddy and I started our jog. Funny, because we both knew it was a walk of shame and realized we hadn't seen one in a while, and Uber is why.


That's all I got today, friends. Have yourselves a tremendous weekend, and try not to hate, even when it's funny.

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*That was a joke. I know there are only extra pieces because I'm bad at figuring things out, even with instructions.

7 comments:

Mr. Shife said...

You have yourself a tremendous weekend as well, Dr. Ken. And can't I just hate on the Cavs just a little bit? Pretty please?

Gorilla Bananas said...

Well, Dr Ken, would you believe there are men who keep respectable ladies clothing in their apartments, so their conquests can change into them before leaving the next day?
No, I didn't think you would. :)

Kenneth Noisewater said...

Shife: I irrationally hate on the Warriors so that they don't break the Bulls record. You see how I can hate anything when I put my mind to it?

Gorilla: Wouldn't that give off the impression of a player who has loads of strange women over at his apartment? You are the king of the jungle, my friend.

Jimmy Fungus said...

I never found you to be a hater. If complaining about annoying and stupid things and people is hatred then call me Hitler. Uber seems dangerous to me, both for the driver and passenger. Though maybe all those stories are the Illuminati getting free publicity for their new business venture, because I am sure the same thing happens in cabs.

Exile on Pain Street said...

Do you know what I hate more than Uber? GPS. Kids will never get lost again. Getting lost is a rite of passage. It teaches you how to work through panic and sometime you accidentally find some cool shit. That's all gone. Nobody will ever get lost again.

Glad I got that off my chest.

Kenneth Noisewater said...

Jimmy: It's true. I'm a hater of very specific stupid little things like "Caddyshack," The Foo Fighters, and Jimmy Fallon. And I just won't let it go!

Exile: This is a great point. Future generations will have no sense of direction, and if the WI FI goes out, they'll be totally screwed, driving around in circles for eternity. Excellent point, Exile.

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