Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Joanie's Unrequited Love

I'm always really tired during my morning drive to work, and sometimes my mind will drift off to a place where a more alert Ken would have stopped the train of thought twelve blocks prior. This morning I got thinking about a television show centered around the coolest Italian kid on the block, Arthur Fonzerelli, played by the Jewish Henry Winkler: "Happy Days."

I should have stopped there, but then I got thinking about the 17 episode failed spin-off from 1982, "Joanie Loves Chachi." For some reason, I just wanted to see how bad it really was, kind of like Ishtar. You can't do that with a show that got cancelled before it built up enough episodes to go into cyndication. Maybe they're on youtube or something, but then I'd have to watch it in ten minute intervals. That would just cheapen Erin Moran's vision in my opinion.

But I didn't stop there. No. On this morning I was thinking how the title kind of left Joanie out to dry. Why does she just love him? Doesn't he love her? Were the creaters thinking of calling it something like Joanie and Chachi Are in Love, but that was just too many syllables? Let's see . . .

"Joa-nie and Cha-chi Are in Love" (8 syllables)
"Joa-nie Loves Cha-chi" (Ahhhhhhhhhh, 5 syllables)

Still, I think it makes Joanie look like she's with some jerk who doesn't love her.

Why not:

Joanie Loves Chachi, But Chachi Can't Even Stand to Be in the Same Room With Her Nowadays.

Joanie Loves Chachi, But Chachi Loves Her Sister

Joanie Loves Chachi, But Chachi's Into Machine F$ck*ng

What do you think, seven readers?

I think I need some books on tape or something for that morning car ride.


JerseySjov said...

they could have called it "joanie and chachi" but i guess they wanted the love part right in the title? i don't know. i wasn't born yet when it came out, and my knowledge of happy days is from nick at nite.

love, your most loyal reader,

ps eyyyyyyyy

Heff said...

Let's call it like it was.

"Joanie Loves Chachi, But He's A Man-Whore For Young Blondes"

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Last time I checked Joanie didn't have a sister.

And I agree, like Joanie is so lucky to have a guy like Chachi-she must love him.
Now can you see why it never survived?

Zen Wizard said...

How about, "Joanie Loves Chachi (But Don't Think That The Love Is Unconditional, There Will Be Plot Developments That Test the Love)"?

That would create more dramatic tension.

With female psychology, a more correct title would be:

"Joanie PERCEIVES She Loves Chachi, But What She REALLY Desires is the Challenge of Winning Over a Proxy Male Who Represents Her Cold, Distant Father."

The most presumptuous title ever was "Everybody Loves Raymond."

I am personally offended by that: Not only do I not LOVE Raymond, I grew to disrespect him on a variety of levels: For instance, shouldn't you, like, put on a tie and go to your job every once in a while, Raymond? If for nothing else, to get away from your ballbuster wife? And here's a thought, Raymond: If you had the 'nadz to move away from the town you grew up in, your parents could not constantly barge in without knocking. And your brother who sandbags your every move would not be in that town, Raymond....They have SPORTS in almost every major American city, Raymond. You can just as easily write about the Tampa Bay Rays, for instance. In fact your column could be called, "Raymond on the Rays." Just a thought.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Jov: Were you born in the 90's or 80's?

Hef: Aren't we all. Aren't we all . . .

Candy: I couldn't tell you if Joanie had a sister or if Chachi had one. Were the Fonze and Chachi cousins?

Zen: You really put some thought into that Raymond analysis, and it was right on the money! Kudos.

JerseySjov said...

i was born january 88.
even i get depressed when i realize that people born in the 90s are in college now, despite the fact that im barely older.

Zen Wizard said...

Wow--I have a corn on my pinky toe that was born January 88!

How about, "Joanie Loves Marsha--And They Are Trying to Talk Chachi Into an Anonymous Sperm Donation"?

Is that good, or is that just my "L-word" Weekend Marathon talkin'??

"Zen Loves Jennifer Beals Because His Fantasies of Her Are Now Nonthreatening" is a personal home movie under development. I am currently looking for a Jennifer Beals lookalike and a hot chick that looks like Marlee Matlin and can at least ape passable sign language for the "screaming sign language orgasm"-scene.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Jov: Are you a Capricorn like The Gance?

Zen: She signed an orgasm? I get a sign from ladies based on my performance: thumbs down.

JerseySjov said...

zen- me and your corn could go bar hopping someday. old people not invited

yes im a capricorn, i come here often, there is not a mirror in my pants, and falling from heaven didn't hurt that much

Michael5000 said...

"Ishtar" isn't so bad. I mean, it's not great, but it's not bad. I don't understand why it has such a crap reputation.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Jov: Falling from heaven wouldn't had hurt that much, had you not had the mirror in your pants.

Audi 5000: I watched a few minutes of it once. They were playing piano and singing. The scene was going nowhere, but they were talented actors. I think I'd sit through it.

Zen Wizard said...


Heh, heh--I would sorta kind of miss him in the "sabotage your old buddy when it looks like he might get laid because you are jealous and the friendship is threatened"-sort of way.

Kadonkadonk said...

What the hell is Sweet Freedom by Michael McDonald doing on your playlist? Seriously?

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Zen: Is my blog providing a forum for an extended conversation about the corn on your foot going out drinking with a college girl? Good.

'Donk: You poke fun, but tell me that song didn't make you happier.

Grant Miller said...

The sister one, definitely...you sicko.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Grant: Yeah, I like that one the best, too, but I think he IS into Machine F'ing.