Monday, August 01, 2011

So, all I had to do today was buy flip-flops . . .

. . . and that's all I really accomplished, so it's what I'm going to write about.

See if you can tell me what's strange about this conversation when I was ringing up my two pairs of thongs. I still call them thongs sometimes . . .

Cashier: You find everything okay, brau?
Ken: Yessir.
Cashier: Okay, cash or credit?
Ken: Credit (hands him his card)
Cashier: Your name, bro?
Ken: Dr. Kenneth Noisewater
Cashier: And address, bro?
Ken: 6969 W. Riveredge Road.
Cashier: And phone number, brau?
Ken: 555-8309
Cashier: Okay, just sign right here, bro.
Ken: There you go
Cahier: Okay, need a bag?
Ken: Nah.
Cahier: Okay, have a good one, bro.

And if you said the funny thing about this exchange, besides the goofy address and phone number and how much information he requested, was that he called me bro 4 times and brau 2 times, you win! He dealt me a full house, bro's over brau's, plus an extra bro for good measure!

Now, did he think that it was okay to call me that because I'm youngish looking, had on a Motley Crue shirt and my hair was still messy from coming home from my lady-friend's? Or does his company, which sounds a little like Bird of Prey from the United States (good selection of thongs!) trains him to call people brau and the like?

Here's another question, which term do you hate being called the most:

Guy
Chief
Captain
Boss
Partner
Big fella
Big homey
Lil' homey
My man
Dude
Toots
Sugar
Sugar-tits
Sweetheart
Ma'am (Makes women feel old)
Sweets
Honey
Babe
Baby
Sugar (This one is okay if it's used by a waitress with an old fashioned bea hive hairdo)

Any others you would like to add?

7 comments:

BeckEye said...

Fucking ma'am. If one more twentysomething calls me ma'am, I'm going berserk.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Oooh. Yeah, women hate getting the ma'am. Makes them feel old. Good call. How about "little lady?"

JerseySjov said...

i haaaate babe and baby. so condescending.
from your list, my least favorite is sugar.
i'm coming around to "sweetheart" bc my bf has a wicked boston accent and i like the way it sounds..."sweet haaaht"

united states predatory creature of the sky isn't really a white-collar establishment. they're probably trained to be casual and friendly w customers.
i for one prefer buying thongs from ancient armed fleets of sea vessels.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Jov: Babe and baby and sugar are pretty bad, but I like when an old waitress with a beahive hairdo calls me sugar. "Sweethaaht" is not bad.

All, I'm adding your contributions to this list . . .

CurlyKateMcGee said...

I hate sugar anything and tits anything...

or anything condesending by a female like sweetheard or honey, by a guy it is fine though

Andrew said...

I hate partner. I have customers who call me that sometimes & I find it so incredibly patronizing.

However, I am a smidge fond of Big Homey.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Curly: I think Gung Ho should start in with the "Sugar Tits," and we'll see how it goes.

Andrew: Partner! I do that one.