Tuesday, October 22, 2013

"The 40-Year-Old Freshman," "Treading Death," and an Awfully Mean Coach

I had this dream that I was a college water polo coach, which is weird because I know almost nothing about water polo other than it's like team hand ball in a pool and it's hard to tread water for that long.  

What's also odd is that I had two celebrities on the team: Actor, writer, and funny-man Seth Rogen and Lars Ulrich, the drummer for the most successful metal band of all time, Metallica.  Perhaps they were going back to college and still had eligibility to play, even if they're old and out of shape, respectively?

It was a rag tag group of water polo players to say the least.  

"Back off me, toots.  I got a big game in the morning."
I really needed Seth in an upcoming match to be my outside wing offensive guy, or whatever, but he made a conscious choice to travel with the basketball team instead because he felt he needed to cheer them on.  This made me so mad that I was throwing projectiles at him at the next practice, and my violent tirade was filmed and aired on the local news, which probably would have gotten me fired if the dream continued much longer.  

"I'm the goalie because I'm always in charge even if I'm not all that good."
Lars was a goalie with some pretty quick reaction time and instincts, but what was bothering me was how short he was.  He couldn't even reach the cross bar to stop a high shot, and to be honest, I have no idea if it's an asset or not to have a tall/long armed goalie in water polo or not.  In the dream it was infuriating to have him in there, and I was whipping high shots at him over-and-over to demonstrate this.

I was a mean coach.  

What do you think, guys?  Throw Will Ferrell in here and we got ourselves a crappy sports comedy?  Or am I just totally nuts for having dreams like this one?


Gorilla Bananas said...

It's always an advantage to have long arms if you're a goalie. That's why apes make great goalies if you train them right. I can't remember seeing a movie about Water Polo, so that would be a new angle, but how would the plot improve on the Bad News Bears?

David Oliver said...

I think water in a dream represents sex. Maybe your dream indicates a desire to help old people who have begun having problems with their sex life. No, wait. That would be a nightmare.

Kenneth Noisewater said...

Mr. Bananas: A movie about a water polo playing gorilla would be outstanding. Let's see if Matt LeBlanc is available . . .

David: Hahahhaa. That would be no picnic. Better bring the CostCo sized lube . . .

Sister said...

I think they represent parts of you that you are conflicted about. The metal guy and the funny guy are both traits you have had. In the dream, neither of those two are doing what they should. Either you are letting them go, or you want them to do better. Any way, it sounds like you want more control over what they represent in your life.