"Have I told you lately how proud vCard am of you?"
As you may know, a V-Card is something you cash in when you lose your virginity, but it had nothing to do with what I was trying to text her tonight. Truth be told, I just got my first smart phone after years of whipping open my flip phone like Captain Kirk all these years. And I'm not to accurate with it, as you may see.
Still, did protective text really try to sneak a V-Card into this conversation? That is unbelievable.
Mrs. Noisewater's response?
"No. You've never told me how proud you are of my V-Card."