Friday, November 01, 2013

I was watching the Chicago Bulls game the other night and having a few IPA's, and longtime play-by-play man, Marv Albert, was saying how someone was trying to live down some bad decisions he made.  This prompted me to yell at the television, "Oh, shut up, Marv!  You were wearing crotchless panties, bit a woman's ass, reportedly forced anal upon a woman, and your toupee fell off.  We haven't forgotten that."

"Panties!  Yes!"
And it's true.  That's what is tough about being a celebrity.  If I paraded around in some crotchless panties, which no man looks good in (even me), I could still pack up and leave town and no one would know I dangled my junk out of a black lacy thong (not that I have a pair picked out).  We all have things we like to do in the sack, but we will never forget what Marv is into because we see him on TV every few nights describing slam dunks to us, and as hard as we try not to, we imagine that under the table he is still wearing those unsightly undergarments.

How about you, readers?  Who are some celebrities who have done something you'll never be able to forget when you see them?

7 comments:

Cocaine Princess said...

For me it would have to be Chris Brown. Whenever I see him on TV (on award shows etc) or hear one of his songs, I can't help but remember what he did to Rihanna.

David Oliver said...

Crotchless panties? Okay, I'm done thinking about that. While I am a proponent of people having the freedom to express themselves sexually, I don't want to hear about it, or dammit, see it.

Dr. Ken, you are right! Once you hear about someone doing something like this, it is always in the forefront of your mind. This guy might as well lose the toupee and replace it with crotchless panties on his head.

Gorilla Bananas said...

I always think of Clarence Thomas boasting about the size of his dick.

I hope this Marv Albert guy was punished for buggering a woman - that's got to be illegal in all states bar Oklahoma.

justmakingconvo.com said...

Have you tried the crotchless cage back boyshort? It's like "presenting your buns on a silver platter!"

Or so the website says, anyway....

Kenneth Noisewater said...

Convo: Those sound outstanding. They will look at me funny when I parade around at the gym in those.

Mr. Shife said...

The whole Tom Cruise/Scientology/Katie Holmes saga made me look at Maverick in a different light. Quit watching his movies all together for a while there but slowly I've gotten back to them. As you can tell my personal boycott of Tom had a crippling effect on his wealth and fame. Hardly ever hear about the guy anymore, right?

Kenneth Noisewater said...

Shife: Has he called to personally thank you for coming back around? But seriously, Tom Cruise is a crazy-ass, and it's hard not to think about that. Mel Gibson is another one. I still love Lethal Weapon, and he is so good in that and so much younger, that I forget. When he is older in a movie, I more associate him with all the trouble he started getting into when he got older. Anyway, I'm just glad I'm not a celebrity. Actually, I might do all kinds of weird stuff on purpose just to throw some curve balls.