Wednesday, August 19, 2015

One More Quick Wedding Story . . .

It was a really great day, while I can't tell you the best moment, I can tell you the moment I laughed the hardest.

One of Mrs. Noisewater's good friends from back in the Bay Area is a fun-loving guy like me.  We spent the Thursday before the wedding with a big group of people at the Oakland A's game.  It was less than 1/3 full in there and quiet.  This guy and myself were easily the loudest people in the whole place.  I distinctly remember looking around to find that my sister and all of my nephews had been gone for the remainder of the game.  I asked my sister the next time I saw her if I was swearing or being offensive.  She said, "No, you were being nice.  You were just really loud."  And so it was with this wedding guest and myself for most of that ballgame . . .

(We also enjoyed a sparsely populated tailgate in the parking lot.  This isn't us.  These are less cool randoms off of Google Images)
So at the wedding, later in the evening after all of the speeches and dances were done and people were just cutting loose, our favorite guest (picture a curly haired short Italian man, like a young Joe Pesci) stops me as I'm walking across the room and says the following:

"Hey, Ken.  Great party.  I want to give you your gift right now (he hands me a folded up 100 dollar bill).  This is what I always do at weddings.  No, I didn't get you a card.  You don't need a card, right?   You'll get a ton of them!  And I certainly didn't get you anything on your stupid registry.  I don't even know where you're registered.  Fuck your registry!  You don't need any of that shit!  Here's a hundred bucks.  Do whatever you want with it.  Spend it all tonight at the bar, put it up your nose (I think he meant like cocaine).  I don't care!  Anyway, like I said.  Great party.  Thanks for having me.  See you around"

"Great party!"
It's when he said "put it up your nose" that I really started dying laughing.  Come to think of it, there were a few moments where I was laughing my ass off, like during my best man's (Heterosexual Life Partner's) speech.  Maybe I'll post about that next.

Anyway, have a good day, friends.  And don't go putting your money up your nose.

8 comments:

Vapid Vixen said...

I think every wedding needs a guest like him. That's awesome!!

billy pilgrim, knight of the woeful countenance. said...

the a's rock! been my favorite team since the days of charlie o. while others wear patriotic or corporate lapel pins, i've worn the elephant holding 2 bats for as long as i can remember.

Gorilla Bananas said...

I now have a strange urge to roll up a bank note and stick it up my nose. Maybe it feels good, right? I think your friend should audition for Martin Scorsese's next movie!

Kenneth Noisewater said...

Vapid: Yup. I am inviting him to everything from now on. Next time I go to the DMV, he's coming.

Billy: I had no idea. They're my American League team. Them and the Blue Jays. Keep the elephant alive, brother.

Gorilla: He really should. A scene stealer to be sure.

Mr. Shife said...

Sounds like a cool dude. I might have to invite him my next party, and you too of course Dr. Ken. Glad you have lots of good stories from your wedding. Take care buddy.

Kenneth Noisewater said...

Shife: He is, indeed. The wedding was a blast, dude. Wish we could have a "blegger," (a blogger kegger) like the good old days to celebrate.

Cocaine Princess said...

What a guest! PS:Goodfellas--- great movie!

Kenneth Noisewater said...

CP: Yessir. Great guest and a great film. It's a good day to be alive.