One of Mrs. Noisewater's good friends from back in the Bay Area is a fun-loving guy like me. We spent the Thursday before the wedding with a big group of people at the Oakland A's game. It was less than 1/3 full in there and quiet. This guy and myself were easily the loudest people in the whole place. I distinctly remember looking around to find that my sister and all of my nephews had been gone for the remainder of the game. I asked my sister the next time I saw her if I was swearing or being offensive. She said, "No, you were being nice. You were just really loud." And so it was with this wedding guest and myself for most of that ballgame . . .
(We also enjoyed a sparsely populated tailgate in the parking lot. This isn't us. These are less cool randoms off of Google Images) |
"Hey, Ken. Great party. I want to give you your gift right now (he hands me a folded up 100 dollar bill). This is what I always do at weddings. No, I didn't get you a card. You don't need a card, right? You'll get a ton of them! And I certainly didn't get you anything on your stupid registry. I don't even know where you're registered. Fuck your registry! You don't need any of that shit! Here's a hundred bucks. Do whatever you want with it. Spend it all tonight at the bar, put it up your nose (I think he meant like cocaine). I don't care! Anyway, like I said. Great party. Thanks for having me. See you around"
"Great party!" |
Anyway, have a good day, friends. And don't go putting your money up your nose.
8 comments:
I think every wedding needs a guest like him. That's awesome!!
the a's rock! been my favorite team since the days of charlie o. while others wear patriotic or corporate lapel pins, i've worn the elephant holding 2 bats for as long as i can remember.
I now have a strange urge to roll up a bank note and stick it up my nose. Maybe it feels good, right? I think your friend should audition for Martin Scorsese's next movie!
Vapid: Yup. I am inviting him to everything from now on. Next time I go to the DMV, he's coming.
Billy: I had no idea. They're my American League team. Them and the Blue Jays. Keep the elephant alive, brother.
Gorilla: He really should. A scene stealer to be sure.
Sounds like a cool dude. I might have to invite him my next party, and you too of course Dr. Ken. Glad you have lots of good stories from your wedding. Take care buddy.
Shife: He is, indeed. The wedding was a blast, dude. Wish we could have a "blegger," (a blogger kegger) like the good old days to celebrate.
What a guest! PS:Goodfellas--- great movie!
CP: Yessir. Great guest and a great film. It's a good day to be alive.
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