Vicar in a Tutu

So I'm having pizza at Pizzeria Due in Chicago, unbelievably good pizza by the way, and my eight-year-old nephew turns to me and says, "Uncle Gancer, you dressed like a girl when you were little." WOW! Where in the hell did that come from? Well, I'll tell you.

I have just one sibling, my older sister. There were days when I was really young, before I had started school and met many friends, and I was attention starved. Just to give you an idea, here's another funny incident before my foray into cross-dressing started. My sister had a friend over, and my dad demanded that they play with me. So he comes back an hour or so later and I'm in my room and my sister and her friend are in her room. My dad is all pissed and says to her, "I thought I said you had to play with him!" She responds, "We are. We're playing house and he's the next-door-neighbor." I guess I was just chilling in my "house," praying to God my neighbors needed to borrow some sugar at some point, or maybe I was playing the part of Larry and would later try to convince them to go to the Regal Beagle. This sad tale shows you a few things.

1. I would do just about anything if it meant my sister was paying attention to me
2. I was easily tricked

So, one day she convinces me to play dress-up with her. The next thing I know I have make-up on, my hair done up, a tutu around my waist, and I'm spinning around like the gayest, little boy ever to dive into Swan Lake.

Well, my sadistic parents must have seen this as a good opportunity to take photos, probably for future black mailing purposes, and those very photos must have been the ones my nephew saw. It's kind of a sad day when your eight-year-old nephew is busting on you . . .