Dr. Dre's "Keep Their Heads Ringing" came "buck buck buck buck booyaka shan"'ing onto my ipod yesterday while I was riding my Nishiki* to work, and I thought about how my mind can get on tangents from just about any lyric. I'd like to share with you this Pop-Up Video (TM) from the recesses of my mind with my thoughts in italics. The lyrics were cut and pasted without permission from songlyrics.com, and other research was done at various places on the internet, again, no permission at all.

Spoken intro:
Yeah, whattup, this is Dr. Dre
The party's goin on

Thank God it's Friday

The doctor is not only suggesting that Friday is as good as any to get a party "goin' on," but the day also refers to the film Friday, for which this song appeared on the soundtrack. I recall seeing this film at the University of Illinois, where my good friend was going to school. He insisted that it was really funny, and I was torn between trusting his opinion, which I often did, and thinking that he was smoking a bit too much of devil's cabbage. Turns out it was funny, and it remains highly quotable to this day, with or without the aid of the cheeba.

["Buck buck buck buck booyaka shan!" - KRS One" rpt 4X]

The fact that it was ex Boogie Down Productions MC, KRS One lending his voice here was news to me. I wish I could tell you just what in the hell "booyaka shan" means, but I'm sure it's pretty cool, solely based on how excited Mr. One sounds about it.

Chorus:

Keep their headz ringin (ding ding dong, ring-gading ding ding dong)
repeat 2X

Onomatopoeia is when a word that when pronounced sounds like a noise something makes, like "bow wow" or "woof woof." I remember in my high school Spanish text book the dogs said "guau guau" I'll have to keep that in mind next time I fuck around and try to speak Spanish to a dog.

Hey you, sittin over there
Say what?
You better get up out of your chair
That's right
And work your body down
Yeahhh...
No time to funk around, cause we gon....
Funk, you, right on up
So get up, get a move on, and get your groove on
It's the D-R-E the spectacular
In a party I go for your neck so call me Blackula

This is in reference to the film Blacula, the 1972 Blaxploitation cult classic. Do you think Blacula was pissed that he got called Blacula, since being an immortal, blood sucking vampire should have been more significant than the color of his skin? Before he sucked a white guy's blood, I bet the nerdy white guy was like, "Hey, a Black vampire! Say something funky-fresh before you bite me!" I should have stopped at the last comment. Oh well. We forge ahead . . .

As I drain a nigga's jugular vein
and maintain to leave blood stains so don't complain
Just chill, listen to the beats I spill
Keepin it real, enables me to make another meal
Still, niggaz run up and try to kill at will
But get popped like a pimple, so call me Clearasil

That was a little free advertising for the zit cream Clearasil. However, Dr. Dre is a doctor, so he could probably get his hands on some of that serious shit you see on the infomercials late at night. Don't some of those before shots look a little beyond acne, like maybe rickets, leperse, or whatever Seal has/had?

I wipe niggaz off the face of the Earth since birth
I been a bad nigga, now let me tell you what I'm worth
More than a Stealth bomber, I cause drama

A stealth bomber costed $1.157 billion in 1998, according to aerospaceweb.org, or something like that.

The enforcer, music flows like a flying saucer
Or a 747 jet, never forget
I'm that nigga that keeps the hoes' panties wet
The mic gets smoked, once you hear the beat kick
With grooves so funky, they come with a Speed Stick

Did you know that it takes me roughly a half hour to pick out deodorant these days? I have to take off the caps to make sure it's not the white flaky kind that gets stuck in my pit hair or the one that squirts up little sections of gel, because that crap runs out too fast. Then, I have to choose between arctic blast, winter storm, sport traction, double d., and triple unleaded sonic pit-fucker. Then, I have to find which one fits these qualifications and is two for five bucks. It's not easy. If only I were worth as much as a stealth bomber like Dr. Dre, and then I could pay some schmo to worry about my pits.

So check the flavor that I'm bringin
The motherfuckin D-R-E, will keep their
motherfuckin headz ringin

Chorus

One-two for the crew, three-fo' for the dough
Five for the hoe, six-seven-eight for Death Row
Mad niggaz about to feel the full effect of intellect
So I can collect respect, plus a check
Now I fin' to, get into to, my mental will take care of this business I need
to attend to cuz my rent's due
And this rap shit's my meal ticket
So you goddamn right I'm gonna kick it, or get evicted

Wait, I thought he was worth more than a jet? Shit, I never bought the "Friday" soundtrack. If I got Dr. Dre evicted, I'll never forgive myself . . .

I bring terror like Stephen King
A black Casanova, runnin niggaz over like Christine

For those of you who don't know, that's a great, and by great I mean great if you watch it with a 12-pack, 1980's movie about a crazy car that has a mind of its own and runs over teenagers.

When I rock the spot with the flavor I got
I kick plenty of ass, so call me an astronaut
As I blast past another nigga's ass that thought he was strong
But I smoke him like grass, just like Cheech and Chong
When I flow, niggaz know, it's time to take a hike
Cause I grab the mic and flip my tongue like a dyke

By that statement, the doctor is likening the tongue action of his rapping to a "dyke's" ability to yodel in the gulley, since they all have the same equipment, thus making them more vagina savvy.

I got rhymes to keep you enchanted
Produce a smokescreen with the funky green to keep your eyes slanted
So check the flavor that I'm bringin
The motherfuckin D-R-E, will keep their motherfuckin headz ringin

Chorus

Debonair with flair, I scare wear and tear
without a care, runnin shit as if I was a mayor
But I ain't no politician, no competition
Sendin all opposition to see a mortician
I'm up front, never in the back drop
Step on stage and get faded just like a flat top
Your rhyme sounds like you bought em at Stop N Go
Dre came to wax you so, just call me Mop N Glow
Many tried to, but just can't rock with
I'm 6-1, 225, a pure chocolate

At the time, the doctor was an inch shorter than me, 35 pounds heavier, and far chocolatier.

Your chances of jackin me are slim, G
Cause I rock from summer til Santa comes down the chimney
Ho ho ho, and so, as I continue to flow
Cause yo, I'm just a fly negro
So, check the flavor that I'm bringin'
The motherfuckin D-R-E will keep their motherfuckin headz ringin.

Chorus

Okay, that will do it. That was exhausting! That's probably what you're saying if you're still reading. Sorry . . .

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*Nishiki is the brand of my second-hand, piece-of-shit bicycle, but I bet you thought it was a crotch rocket.