Sunday, June 05, 2011

The Stoner Steve Brownie Story

I know this guy Stoner Steve, and I rarely see him because he's a friend of a friend and he lives on the south side. He is a UPS delivery guy who loves the mommies on his route, he's the type of guy who brings his own beer cozy to the bar, and he's usually drunk and stoned when I see him, which isn't surprising being that his name is Stoner Steve.

Almost every time I see him, I make him tell The Brownie Story, but for some reason this time I did not. Maybe it's because I was too busy laughing at him being awesome, like when he bought a case of beer, lifted it over his head, and dropped it so that when we pulled up in the cab, we saw him on all fours gathering up fallen beers (only breaking one! But we had to tap them all like crazy). He's a happy drunk, never an angry or irritable one, and I like those types.


The Brownie Story goes about like this:

Back when Stoner Steve was in high school, he had some friends over when his mom was out of town, and they made some pot brownies. When they were on the back porch waiting for them to cool, his mom's boyfriend came over, saw there were brownies and ate a shit load of them. Nice guy, right? What's funny is that Stoner Steve said there's no way they would taste good because there were stems and seeds everywhere. Nonetheless, the mom's boyfriend had no idea he had eaten pot brownies, and he thought he was having a heart attack. The doctors told him that he had marijuana in his system, and I imagine Stoner Steve was in some big trouble.



I think when I ask him to tell that story, he says that the boyfriend was a bit of an asshole, or maybe he was just nice but stupid. Either way, terrific story . . .

8 comments:

Anroo said...

Either he was nice or he was an asshole. One or the other.

However, that is quite a funny story.

Gorilla Bananas said...

I'd like to think it taught the greedy boyfriend a lesson, but something tells me it didn't.

Kadonkadonk said...

Sweet!!

b.burjan said...

what the hell? how come i haven't met this fellow yet?

Heff said...

I just stick with BEER.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b7Lcu4DFV9o

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Anroo: I thought so. That's why I bring it up just about every time I see him.

GB: I should think so! But, yeah, probably not . . .

Donk: Actually, not sweet. Heard they were gross. : )

BB: More of a friend-of-a-friend, but he's good people.

Heff: Keep planking, son!!!

JerseySjov said...

my favorite cousin wants to give our mothers pot brownies but not tell them until after theyve eaten them...i had to wait for her to get off her "pot is like the movies!" cloud and explain to her the concept of a "bad high" (ie that our moms would probably think they were dying)

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

A bad high would make the mommies gone wild night even funnier.