Friday, June 24, 2011

What I Learned Today About Dolphins


1. They run in groups with other dolphins, like dolphin gangs, getting in rumbles with other groups.

2. As you probably have heard, they are the only other species that have sex for pleasure. They showed a couple doing it while they swam, kind of like road head.

3. They appear to also be the only other species that has best buddies. Males often have an alliance with another male who they hang out with exclusively for up to 12 years.

4. They engage in complex dating games with a deep network of communication in an attempt to cock block one another.

5. They can pull some real dick moves like bumping a dolphin calf down over-and-over so he can't get air. They do this to make the female DTF (Down To F) again. That's "cold blooooooooded!" If I'm that female, I'm not getting it on with the dudes who killed my kid, but who am I too judge 'dem dolphin bitches . . .

10 comments:

Aubree said...

nice photo you chose at the top there.

dolphins sound like real assholes, killing kids to get some and cock blocking each other. i don't think i want to be a dolphin.

JerseySjov said...

dolphin gangs... ClickClicks 4 Lyfe, fuck the BottlenoZ BoyZ

Gorilla Bananas said...

A lioness also comes into season after a new pride male kills her cubs. Biological instinct trumps everything in the wild.

Mr. Shife said...

Still waiting for that dolphin to call me back. I thought we had something special.

Anonymous said...

I stopped liking dolphins after I watched a show on them. The males will rape other males too. Their nasty.

Anonymous said...

oops - "they're"

Number Eleven said...

That lady looks like she is enjoying swimming with that dolphin a little too much. Or maybe she just wants little dolphin babies.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Thanks for all your comments. The males rape one another? What the heck . . .

Michael5000 said...

Only other species that has sex for pleasure? I'm not buying that. I saw some lemurs seriously getting it on once.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

5000: Hahaha. The one lemur put some Al Green on the stereo and dimmed the lights . . .