Wednesday, October 10, 2012

The Hulkster Sex Tape

I heard that Hulk Hogan has a sex tape out in which he does it with a girl while his friend, Bubba the Love Sponge, videotaped it in the closet.

I'm fascinated with sex tapes.  They crack me up.  I think I have seen just about every one that has ever come out from Pamela Anderson, to Kim Kardashian, to Paris Hilton.  However, those women are all hot and the dudes in the videos were in good shape too.  The Hulkster tape is more akin to the Gene Simmons tape, and what I want to know is which one is grosser. 

Gene was doing it missionary with his gut hanging down, and he couldn't get a very impressive erection going.  Also, "I Want To Know What Love Is" by Foreigner could be heard in the background, and the girl didn't even bother taking her flip flops off as her legs stuck straight up in the air.  Also, he leaves his shirt on and his pants around his ankles, maybe thinking that any extra efforts would provide time to lose that lackluster boner.  Damn it!  That guy used to be a sexual demon! (Here it is if you want to see it.  This is a porno link, so don't get mad it you don't like porno.)

While Hulk may have trouble topping Gene in being revolting to the senses, Hulk may beat him in being morally gross.  Gene was in an open marriage, so Shannon Tweed, Skinimax film star, was okay with that.  The Hulk's wife was not okay with him doing that, and the girl he was shagging was obviously not okay with it being filmed because his boy was hiding in the closet.  Now, I have some really close friends, but I would never want to film them doing it!  Gross!  Also, it's just wrong to videotape someone banging without telling them.  I knew a guy once who was going to video himself and a chick he was doing at the time.  He had it set up in his closet where there would be no way anyone would notice.  He even showed me how it would look with him just jumping around on the bed, and it would have worked out just right.  I really wish I had told him what a flipping scumbag move that would have been, but he thought better of it on his own.

But Hulk Hogan did not.

What a dissapointment to all those little Hulkamaniacs out there . . . .


5 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

Very foolish behaviour. Dudes who like to watch themselves should have a real time TV link like Patrick Bateman in American Psycho. Or put a mirror on the ceiling.

BamaTrav said...

Don't pull your beef out while watching it "BROTHER!!!."

Heff said...

Gene's sex tape was more disappointing than the Kiss album, The Elder !!!

So much for that song "Larger Than Life" and needing to wear a massive leather codpiece....

Kim Kardashian ? GORGEOUS, but a DEAD LAY.

Leave it to the PROS, Celebrities !!

Dr Zibbs said...

Gene Simmons has one???!

Kenneth Noisewater said...

Gorilla: I agree. Bateman liked to watch it as it happened and then keep body parts of theirs for later. Wait . . .

Bama: I know it's true cuz you and
Hulk said brother.

Heff: Yes! Their technique will not be as sound, but I want to see celebs doing it!

Yak: Follow the link! You'll renounce your Hulkamembership