Thursday, March 14, 2013

I'm just getting over one of the worst stomach flu's of my life.  I was puking and shooting out pure liquid poops for over 24 hours straight.  It was one of those deals where you get to the toilet and can't decide which need is more "pressing."  Should I sit down for a squirt dump and run the risk of barfing on my lap, or bend over the bowl for a puke and risk blasting a dump all over myself and the tile floor?

If you're still reading, I'm going to the Big Ten basketball tournament with some friends tonight who will be drinking, and although I'm like 90% better, I have decided to not partake in "the sauce" tonight to allow myself to recover.  

I really do hate not drinking when people around me are drinking, and it got me thinking, is it a worse situation for those who don't ever want to drink or for someone who has just decided that he doesn't want to drink?  I have had those friends who come out with everyone to bars, sometimes until four in the morning, and they never drink.  How do they do it?  I try to be understanding of the fact that when people are schnockered all around me and I'm sober, I have been that bad or likely even worse.  Still, I get instantly annoyed and want to drink myself closer to where they're at so I'm not annoyed anymore.  

UPDATE: I just finished this post when I got home.  I had a beer and a half.  

9 comments:

BamaTrav said...

I simply puked in a bucket, each puke sent Hershey's a new batch to cook with.

Heff said...

It's best to have a trash can by the shitter so you can blast from both ends at the same time, but if NOT, I'd certainly rather clean up "mouth" from the floor than "ass".

Gorilla Bananas said...

I'm not sure what you had was technically gastric flu, but it sounds bad enough. I hope you felt better after purging at both ends.
I don't mind being sober when other people drink. It makes me feel like an FBI agent.

Kenneth Noisewater said...

Bama: Genius! A jumbo bucket though because it goes out to the sides and splatters at the bottom a lot. I will have one on hand for next time and get it all out of me in half the time, thanks to you.

Heff: Yessir. Bama was way ahead of you. I'm not thinking at my best when I'm damn near shitting myself every few minutes.

Gorilla: Could have been food poisoning. They have pretty much the exact same symptoms, either way, not fun. I might have killed myself had it not been for a Russ Meyer movie streaming online.

Cocaine Princess said...

I'm not too big on drinking but I can't say that for the majority of my friends who really enjoy their liquor. It doesn't bother me if I'm the only one not with a drink in my hand. I haven't ever stayed til 4am at a bar but I've been to more than my fair share of parties that have lasted til 4am without having a drop of alcohol-- I wish I could explain it but I can't.....

Cocaine Princess said...

PS. Hope you're feeling better!!

Kenneth Noisewater said...

Coke: Thanks for your insight, but I would love to know more. How in the hell do you stay that late? Do you place bets on stuff to keep interest?

Cocaine Princess said...

For me it's probably because I don't sleep very well. I've written several entries about my frustration with the Sandman. I only get about 4 hours of sleep.

Kenneth Noisewater said...

Cocaien: I can see that. When I drink a lot, I need like 12 hours of sleep.