Thursday, January 02, 2014

Random As Hell Chicago Updates

1. My mom is coming into Chicago to spend the day with me.  We're going to the Chciago History Museum, which will be the first time for both of us.  Then later tonight we're going to play team trivia at a really chill bar in Lakeview.  Our team might just be the two of us, but she's a ringer for sure.  The question is, am I going to pull my own weight?  I'm praying for a Megadeth category . . .

2. The Bears just signed quarterback Jay Cutler to a seven year deal, and wow are my Facebook friends mad!  Some are calling it a prison sentence, others are calling it the 7-year-itch (as if he is football venereal disease).  I'm still taking it in, reserving judgement, ready to drink beers every Sunday and watch my Bears, win or lose.  That's the kind of fan I am.  A drunk one.

"Does it smell like burnt plastic in here?"
3. I got a burrito place down the street from me that I love because the guys in there are always fast, efficient, and in a terrific mood.  It's always, "How are you doing, mi hermano!?"  I also have a janitor at my work who, like mis hermanos, is always loving life.  It's like he would rather be doing nothing else than cleaning poopy streaks off of toilet bowls.  With janitor guy, it seems a little suspicious that he is that gleeful, like maybe he is sniffing the cleaning products.

Either way, remember how good you have it because there are guys serving burritos at 3AM and mopping floors who are three times happier than you, and your job isn't so bad, right?


6 comments:

David Oliver said...

I envy your Mom. In a trivia game with either of my sons, I would be a silent partner. I've answered one question, one time that they didn't know. The answer was Istanbul. I don't remember the question.

I think you should always support your team especially when they are losing. It's the brave and courageous thing to do. It's easier to be brave when you're drunk.

There are people who find joy in living. The smell of shit only makes them appreciate clean when the shit is gone.

Gorilla Bananas said...

I envy your Mom too. I'd like a report on what you see in Chicago History Museum. I wonder how many exhibits will be about Al Capone. Maybe the janitor has a great sex life - why don't you ask him?

Mr. Shife said...

Good luck to you and your Mom. Hopefully it will be like that episode of Cheers when all of categories were perfectly suited for Cliff Clavin. Not sure how I feel about the Cutler deal either. My old man is a big Bears fan so I keep tabs on them. Seven years seem a little long but he does have some offensive weapons. Hope it works out. Happy New Year buddy.

Kenneth Noisewater said...

David: Well said, on all three accounts. You're a wise man.

Gorilla: Capone and the rest of the mobsters had their fair share in the museum, along with all the other nasty things like discrimination and race riots and things. They didn't sugar coat, so I liked that about it. Also, good call on the janitor doing sex a lot. I'd like to ask him, but that might be strange to ask out of nowhere.

Shifey: Hope they know what they're doing in the Bears front office - for me and your dad's sake. Happy New Year to you too, kind sir.

Jimmy Fungus said...

I dono... I think if Jay Cutler works real hard, and really busts his buns... he can be the next Rex Grossman.

Kenneth Noisewater said...

Jimmy: God, Grossman was truly awful. Jay isn't that bad, but he does frustrate a lot of us Chicagoans. I'm trying to stay positive . . .. But it's tough.

Was that negative?