Sunday, January 28, 2007

Fish Behavior and Couple's Showers


My roommate and I were watching a show about deep sea fish on the Discovery Channel, because we can't find the damn remote, and I was shocked to learn about the mating patterns of one particular fish. Apparently, the female is like five times the size of the male, and the male literally attaches himself to her for life, pumping her full of fish sperm, and tagging along for the ride until the day he dies.

Later on that day I was talking to a female friend of mine who has to go to a couple's shower. Those are great, right? Because every guy wants to go watch a woman open a bunch of stupid gifts, as if he gives a shit what kind of hand-mixer she gets.

Guys being dragged off to one of those things just made me think of that male fish, pumping his wife full of fish sperm, and tagging along with her to all kinds of God-awful events, until the day he dies . . .

11 comments:

classyandfancy said...

I'm betting that the couple's shower's male attendees don't get the opportunity to pump their ladies full of their manliness all that often. At least the fish gets his freak on for life and gets to swim around coral reefs or something while doing it.

Jay said...

I love your optimistic viewpoint, and even more the mental images this post prompted.

Betterer even than that, I thought your post was titled "Fish showers" to begin with...

The [Cherry] Ride said...

As usual, Classy hits the nail on the head. Glad us hetero-challenged don't have to worry about stuff like that.

Alannah said...

Couples showers: when annoying and boring only half the population just isn't good enough.

mysterygirl! said...

This is depressing. And not at all what I had expected when I saw the headline "couple's showers."

RevRee said...

yeah, but you'd get to sex her up whenever you wanted!

chuckdaddy2000 said...

Whosever's idea it was to make Baby showers co-ed deserves to die a slow and painful death.

Ms Smack said...

haaaaaaaaaaaaahahaha, sounds like most unhappily married men I know!

5 of 9er said...

I like fish... but I usually don't pump my fish. Why are we talking about fish again?

Mighty Dyckerson said...

This is why I don't eat fish.

NAME: Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Classy: LOL. We should all be so lucky to get our freak on by coral reefs.

Jay: Yeah, tough to shake that image.

Cherry: You lucky, lucky man.

Alanah: Great slogan! Too true.

Mystery: Sorry to depress you, but you should know by now that the Gancer has his ups and downs.

Rev: Yeah, but you'd see some fine piece of fish ass swimming by, and you'd be unable to detach yourself from the same fish poonanny.

Chuck: I knew you'd see it my way.

Smack: Brutal, brutal, brutal.

9er: You make it sound like a Reebok pump shoe.

Dyk: Most people probably don't eat this fish, since it's a deap-sea variety, but someone should put the little, male one out of his misery, and cook him up in a garlic butter sauce.