10. "That guy is probably running a shorter distance than me. He just goes out for a quick mile."
9. That guy is probably just sprinting like that at the end of his run. He couldn't possibly keep up that pace."
8. "I have a cramp."
7. "That guy is wearing tights from head-to-toe. It's totally okay to get passed up by those guys 'cause they're hardcore."
6. "F*ck that guy. I hate him."
5. "That only happened because I slowed down to find a good song on my ipod."
4. "He shouldn't run that fast. He's going to get shin splints, a herniated disc, and a decreased sperm count."
3. "It's okay for one or two to pass me up per run, so long as everyones not flying by me. You're okay, just focus . . ."
2. "He's probably one of those guys who just can't be happy unless he passes everyone up. He's messed up. I pity him."
1. "Look at him; He runs like a dork. I'd rather run slow than run like a complete doucher like him."
NOTE: If you're a man, and it's a woman passing you up, that's a whole different list of even more imaginative excuses.
Also, congrats to Heff for winning the caption contest from the last post. He's a great blogger with a really cool layout at his site, but he has been on hiatus for some time now. However, Heff's Bar And Grill returns on 02/24/2010. Mark your calendars or just put him on your blogroll.