Monday, April 19, 2010

I Heard "I'll Be There For You" By Bon Jovi This Morning . . .

. . . and I immediately thought about slow dancing with a 12-year-old girl dressed like a hooker. Hold on! Before you check my ip address and arrest me, please let me explain.

When I was in the fifth grade, a girl, we'll call her Trixie, moved to our district midway through the school year, and I remember the day she came because her mom walked her in, she looked nervous, and Trixie was dressed like a hooker.* Not your standard hooker, mind you, but like a gypsy hooker - as if Stevie Nix was turning tricks instead of rocking arenas to pay for her coke habit. I'm not saying these clothes were just too slutty for her age because girls today do that a lot with stores like Forever 21. This was far, far worse because they were really cheap looking garbs - the exact types of things hookers wear.

I remember sitting at lunch one day, and the 6th graders at the next table were asking her what her going rate was, the name of her pimp, things like that, and she went to the principal and named names - luckily I wasn't on that list. I wouldn't be surprised if I found myself joining in on teasing like that because I was a bit of a follower in those days, but truth be told, I had a bit of a secret crush on her.

I had a friend at the time who was that boy who all the girls liked. I remember being over at his house playing Nintendo, and the phone would be ringing off the hook with girls, and he would say to me, "Here, talk to this chick. They call all the time. It's so annoying!" Anyway, when this friend admitted that he had a secret crush on Trixie, we all razzed him so bad about it that he never mentioned it again let alone ask her out. I, of course, kept my crush private, but to my credit, I think I was the only one to come to his defense about liking her.

She was pretty, and she had a beauty mark just like Madonna when Madonna was still very young and hot - this was long before Cindy Crawford. Despite being very pretty, between the way too "advanced" clothing and maturing faster physically than the rest of us, she just seemed much older. This is why when I was slow dancing with her to Bon Jovi's "I'll Be There For You," she just felt 3 grades older than me. I remember having good feelings about it, but I had no thoughts of maybe she could be my girlfriend, or maybe she likes me (she liked the kid I mentioned in the last paragraph) - it just felt good.

What do you think about all of this, Seven Readers? Have you ever had a secret crush when you were young? ______________________________________________________________

*I wish I could remember what mom looked like because that might explain her wardrobe choices, but I just can't recall . . .

5 comments:

BeckEye said...

Wait, does Bon Jovi have a song called "I'll Remember You?" I remember Skid Row's "I Remember You." Are you mixing up your Jersey bands, or am I having a brain fart?

Heff said...

Damnit !!! BeckEye beat me to it !!!

Bon Jovi's song is "I'll be there for you."

At least you remember she looked like a Gypsy Hooker, which of course is the MOST IMPORTANT part...

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Beck and Heff: You guys are right. It's "I'll Be There For You," and a made the change. It's not like me to make errors about rock music. It must be this cold I'm trying to get over. What would I do without you guys??

JerseySjov said...

i still have secret crushes. then again, your lady gaga test determined that i still count as a young person...

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Jov: Yeah, that test is a perfect measure because if someone over 27 knows all those words, then they're immature.