Saturday, August 31, 2013

Vote Early and Vote Often For the Reverend.

I like to think that I have always had some influence over people with the use of my charm and wit.  This dates back to the time in the 5th grade where our class had an election to vote in the primary election for the president of the United States.  During the weeks of campaigning, we made posters to hang up and tried to get others to vote for our guy, mine being Jesse Jackson.  I'm not sure why I chose him for my horse in this race, but I guess I have always just liked Black people.  If it is proof you are looking for, I had a Black Cabbage Patch Doll and my favorite G.I. Joe was Roadblock.

Looking back, it was rather racist that being the Black G.I. Joe, he rapped his dialog.
After the votes had all been added up, our teacher asked us why so many of us voted that way, and the students couldn't really put it into words.  I kicked back in my chair, folded my hands behind my head and smiled, loving what I had created.

"I need that 11-year-old white kid vote!"

I have always used my influence for good instead of evil, and I have had mixed results over the years, but perhaps my greatest achievement will always be convincing 20 to 30 upper-middle class, suburban 11-year-old white kids with conservative parents to vote for the Reverend Jesse Jackson. 


Gorilla Bananas said...

I think kids liked Jesse Jackson because he spoke in rhyme. Do you remember Rod Tidwell in the film Jerry Maguire? I would have voted for him.

Kenneth Noisewater said...

Gorilla: Good point. That whole 5th grade class also had Paul Revere by the Beastie Boys memorized. Would have voted for them unanimously.

David Oliver said...

What you did was amazing. If you ever decide to change careers you can go into politics.

Kenneth Noisewater said...

David: I just wish I had the energy that I did when I was 11 . . . said...

If I was in your class and/or American back then I would have voted you for president of the United States.

ps. Not to brag, but I rap my dialog too.

David Oliver said...

I used to say things like that. In fact I would like to say, I wish I had the energy I had when I was 50. And it would be true.

The trouble is my younger kid, when he was younger, discouraged me from saying things like that. He could be counted on to say, "wish in one hand, crap in the other and see which one fills up first."

So I've stopped wishin' and he's stopped sayin' but I think it is just because he doesn't think he's being cute anymore.

Kenneth Noisewater said...

Convo: I would have been an interesting 5th grade Prez. Most of my platforms would have had a lot to do with George Michael and Atari.

David: I like that kid's style. We need people to push us.