I was watching a show on VH1 highlighting the Top 100 One-Hit-Wonders of the 1980's, and when they spoke of Chris De Burgh, singer of the super wussy rock 1986 "classic," Lady in Red, they showed a video of him claiming that he has the power to heal people with his hands. He claims to have touched people's legs who could not walk on them, and, behold! - They could walk!
I cannot for the life of me find any video footage of the De Burgher talking about this phenomenon, so if you find a link, please leave it in the comments so that I can embed it on here.
This got me thinking about an old roommate I had and his quasi-girlfriend. The three of us used to drink too much and sing karaoke on the on demand cable, using a mini flashlight as a microphone. My roomy would always do Lady in Red. I would usually do The Rain by Oran Juice Jones, dropping the microphone like the end of a Chris Rock show after the spoken word part at the end of the song, and then I would go straight to bed. Keep them wanting more is what I always say. One night, however, I decided to throw down Lady in Red. Roomy was pissed. He said, "Don't you go trying to out-De Burgh me!"
Give Lady in Red another listen now, and let me know if you think this man can have some super-human powers. What power does this song have over you? The power to induce vomiting? The power to induce slow dancing? Let me know, oh Seven Readers. Let me know so that Chris and I may heal your soul. As always, be sure to turn off my music player on the left panel if you decide to listen to the video, unless, that is, you want to revisit The Rain by Oran Juice Jones.