Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Gay First Grader

As much as people on the Nurture end of the debate would like to convince you otherwise, sometimes you can already tell a kid is gay when he's in the first grade. I know some gay first-graders, and some of them wear sweater vests, some are into Hannah Montana, and some of them the only word you would use to describe them is "sassy."

Now, if you're going to try to tell me that there is something you could do as a parent to keep your kid from "going gay," then how do you explain gay first graders?

Parents, if your kid is playing Double Dutch at recess and he wants an Easy Bake Oven, don't go into panic mode and try to send him to some sort of Christian camp where they try to pray the gay out of him. Just consider this a time to start preparing yourself for the idea. Sure, his life might be difficult for a while with the teasing and fear of coming out, so why make it worse on him by putting added pressure of shunning parents on him?

Gay first graders are a reality people, and they're kind of cute, so it's time you accept it.


BeckEye said...

I've definitely met some gay kids who had no idea they were gay. Yet. And then I told them, gave them a feather boa and sent them on their way.

By the way, I usually get annoyed and/or scared when one of your songs randomly starts, but how delightful it was to hear "Girls & Boys" coming from my speakers this time. Ohhhhhh Damon.

JerseySjov said...

the more parents there are who aren't afraid of their kids being gay, the fewer kids there are who think being gay is wrong regardless of their own orientation.

yayyy acceptance.

Heff said...

Lock the child in a room filled with Playboy magazines, STAT ! It's NOT too late !

Anonymous said...

Yup! My gf is a teacher and she notices gay kids all the time... way before they themselves know they're gay. And it goes to show that it is something biological, beyond conscious control.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Beck: You can't go wrong with Girls and Boys. It's a good Friday after work, let's go get drunk and dance song.

Jov: Exactly what I'm saying, home girl.

Heff: You are hilarious, bro!

Blame: Biological without a doubt. Fascinating, actually.

TOPolk said...

I'm surprised that a gay first grader hasn't been featured as a supporting character on a FOX sitcom yet.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Topolk: Yeah, Everybody Hates Bruce.