Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Today's Funny Hood Story, Sept 27, 2011

Every Tuesday I work on the West Side of Chicago where I'm the only white guy for blocks and blocks . . .

Today, my boss in those parts, Mr. Green, wanted to get the attention of a big and ugly kid and said, "Hey, Big Ugly!" What's funny is that Big Ugly walked right over without being the least bit offended that he had just been called big and ugly.

Then Mr. Green started asking him if he played football because of his size, and I said, "Yeah, look at the hands on that fella!" His hands were maybe the biggest things I've ever seen and could have probably held two footballs each with room to spare.

Big Ugly could be very "handy" on The Chicago Bears offensive line this season, and it would be the best nickname since the last time we were really good and "The Fridge" played on the team.

7 comments:

Gorilla Bananas said...

Sounds like a thick-skinned neighbourhood. What would have happened if kid replied "What jya want, dick-face?"

sybil law said...

That is awesome (that he responded)!

So how's the non -jerking going?

b.burjan said...

you should just mentor him, get his trust, make him play football..then you become his agent, and get 15% of his contract...it's even better than what sandra bullocks did in that one movie, about that football player...it's that easy.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Gorilla: Thick skin. Yes. Thick everything on that young man. A really ass kicker.

Sybil: All I got is Wed and Thur night and I made it!!

Burjan: Yes! I could make a killing off of Big Ugly . . .

Just telling it like it is said...

Got to love big hands!!!

Kadonkadonk said...

I hope we can still be friends in spite of the fact that the Packers are going to kick major ass this year.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Just Telling: Yeah. If his hands are any indication of his you-know-what . . . I don't even want to think about it. Terrifying.

Donk: Your Pack looks good. The Bears are suck-asses and I know it too well.