Sunday, February 17, 2013

High Dive. Bomb's Away!!

If you have been reading this thing for a while, you know that I don't hide from you the fact that I drink and make bad decisions.  This started at an early age.  I was by my mom and dad's house yesterday, and when I drove past the private pool around the corner from them, I said to myself, "Oh yeah, that's the pool I used to break into for a swim at 2AM when I was drunk."  Now, that sounds like something a lot of kids do, but alone?  That's just weird.  And even worse is that I took dumps in the pool, which is just thoughtless because someone would have to start their morning cleaning up the dump that I should have taken in a perfectly good toilet.  One step worse is that I pooped off the high dive, which is a challenge to dangle your butt off the edge, twenty feet in the air, and then jump over your own poop.  I was more agile in those days but just as stupid. 

Someone found it.
I wish I could say I have grown up a lot since then.  I have, but it has taken a long, long time.  This Friday I didn't go out drinking at all, and then Saturday I got tired and went home early (for me), and I feel pretty good; might even make it to the gym, where I will swim and not poop. 

7 comments:

Heff said...

YOU, my friend, were a GENIUS !!!

Kenneth Noisewater said...

Heff: Well, there is one man who could appreciate that maneuver.

Gorilla Bananas said...

Did you ever try pooping when you were in mid-flight? That would have been an amazing achievement. A primate (you) would have finally achieved what birds do every day.

Kenneth Noisewater said...

Gorilla: Ha! That would have to be really well timed. Good thinking. We would do damage together . . .

BamaTrav said...

Usually it was the little black kids that shit in the public pools.

Dr Zibbs said...

HAHA. Did you do the pooping to amuse yourself of just for the hell of it?

Kenneth Noisewater said...

Bama: Hey! That's racist! Next you'll be saying something about taking Cosby kids over to the swimming pool, or something.

Zibber: Well, i guess they always return to the scene of the crime. And poop again. Who knows why I did anything in those days.