2 Quick Theories On Dating . . .

I have this friend, and while I don't see him much these days, largely due to the fact that he has four kids and he's a quantum physicist or something or other, in his day he was quite the party type and mad genius.  Here are two ideas that he had that popped in my head today that I will now share with you, and I hope that they prove useful to you in your endeavors.

1. The thing to do is find a girl with a beautiful face who is a little overweight.  What's that?  You don't like the heavy types?  Just fuck her thin!  Okay, yes, it's a little crass, but this was a long time ago . . .

2. Any time you are nervous about talking to a pretty girl, just remember, even she poops, and sometimes . . . . Sometimes!  She has has diarrhea.