Atlas Golden Ale
Impressions: "Is this one flat?"
Random Conversation: LaFontaine and I were talking about a professional wrestling party that I am throwing soon, and he had to admit that, due to being a Black guy, he will have to go as Junkyard Dog with a giant chain around his neck and "thump" written on his ass. We also decided that girls would need a whole other theme because we couldn't have 14 Miss Elizabeth's walking around up in that piece.
Demeter Belgian Wheat
Impressions: "I always like the wheaty ones better."
Random Conversation: I pointed out that LaFontaine didn't notice that I had grown out stupid-looking mutton chops this summer. He said that he noticed them, but he didn't think I was looking for commentary on them.
Impressions: "This one says it has lychee aromas in it. Who could give a beer a sniff and discern that it smells like a fruit I've barely heard of?"
Random Conversation: The men's gymnastics were on in the Olympics, and LaFontaine and I decided that if you show us a man who is good at the pommel horse, we will show you a man who has racked his craw dads horribly and painfully over-and-over again when he started doing it.
Nalad Summer Belgian IPA
Impressions: "Citrusy! Sunny Delight should make a beer. Maybe it could come in the same bottle shape, only a 12 oz version!"
Random Conversation: I was telling LaFontaine how I had a dream that my girlfriend and I were staying at a hotel in Idaho for whatever reason, and she killed a couple people. I remember that she had her reasons, and while I thought killing them was a little drastic, I was on board for helping her get away with it. We paid with a credit card, which had me worried that if they found the bodies, police would have our names to use as a list of suspects. Then I was trying to convince her that we should drive our asses to Mexico. I asked LaFontaine what this dream might mean, but he said he stopped listening midway through and again marveled at how those gymnastics kids don't bang their testicles on that pommel horse.
Diversey Pale Ale
Impressions: "Creamy! Remember Creamsicles? Was there a difference between those and Dreamsicles?"
Random Conversation: At this point LaFontaine and I were trying to decide which bar to watch The Bears this football season. For me, whether or not they played "Bear Down" after a touchdown was a biggy, while beer selection was a deciding factor for him. I'm confident that through perseverance, we can come to a peaceful resolution. I have a dream - sicle . . .
Hyperion Double IPA
Impressions: "I hate the hoppy ones, but shouldn't this be hoppier if it's double the IPA because IPA's are always the hoppy as heck ones that dry my whole mouth out?"
Random Conversation: I pointed out that LaFontaine's stuffy nose didn't sound as bad as when he came in, and we were thinking that if beer cured the common cold, Chicagoans would never have the slightest sniffle.
Deep End Stout
Impressions: "This one is like drinking a steak!"
Random Conversation: We were talking about DSL's, which is a crude acronym for women's lips, if you must know, and he was trying to convince me that NFL sideline reporter, Pam Oliver, was fine as hell in the 1980's and had some really nice DSL's. I looked it up, and it wasn't easy to find a picture back far enough to convince me, but ultimately, he's right! Thank you, google images.
1871 Smoked Porter
Impressions: "I didn't care for this one at first, but the more I drink, the more it's my favorite one. It's a grower, not a shower."
Random Conversation: LaFontaine at this time mixed 2/3 of the Deep End Stout with 1/3 of the Double IPA, and we both loved it. Two of the guys who worked there dug it too, and one of them had to admit, "I think you guys just discovered our best beer . . ." Yes! We are alchemists. I then got a whole pint of the LaFontaine Blend, and then "sampled" (read "chugged") way too many Bud Lights with my buddy, Oates.
Again, swing by LaFontaine's page if you're curious what all these things actually tasted like, and I did another one of these called Night of the Horrendous Beer Tasting with my other good friend, The Locust, where we drank some of the most vile winter brews under the sun.
What do you think, readers? Any beer you could recommend? Any ones that you would pass up even on the worst Friday of work of your life?