Saturday, February 26, 2011

Wine Tasting Smart Asses

Well, a while back I posted a project I did where a friend and I drank piss poor winter beers, and now I bring you a wine tasting with mostly similar results, this time with a girl I'm sort of seeing who we will call, Law School Dropout.
First off, from the "silky" category, we had a sip of Heinz Eifel Riesling Spatlese
From: Mosei, Germany
Price: $13.99
Their Description: Full-bodied, flavors of peach, cit
rus, and apricot. Good with sushi and spicy cu
Dr. Ken's Impression: "This would go good with a sour apple Jolly Rancher."
Law School Dropout's Impression: "Eh, not my style."
Next, from the "bold" category, we tried out Ello Grasso Nebbiolo
From: Langhe, Italy
Price: $25.99
Their Description: Stop sign red with medium intensity and a nose of Maraschino cherries, red licorice and mineral notes. Tart, good acidity, leading to a long, lingering finish.
Dr. Ken's Impression: "He said it has tastes of tar and leather. Is that good?"
Law School Dropout's Impression: "It's real smoove."
And then we had, also from the "bold" category, had a snort of Qupe Syrah
From: Central Coast, California
Their Description: Beautifully balanced, delivering a balance of fruit, spice and tannins (whatever that is).
Dr. Ken's Impression: "That one dries you right out."
Law School Dropout's Impression: "I want some mashed potatoes with that."
Lastly, from the "nectar" category, they poured us Heinz Eifel Eiswein.
From: Germany
Their Description: Rich and flavorful, only the nectar of the juices getting extracted and fermented into the wine.
Dr. Ken: Trying to sound smart, "Is it pears, or something?"
Law School Dropout: "I'm struggling with this."

I warned the gal I brought that I would likely be silly in there, not over-the-top like Jim Carrey, more like an understated smart apple like Bill Murray. For instance, I asked if the Heinz one was from the same people who brought us the ketchup. Also, when another gal asked us if we were familiar with the menage a trois in wine, I said, "Not in the wine realm, no." That one was really awkward because it was the gal's first day, and I think she thought we were propositioning her.

So, if any of my Seven Readers are headed to Napa Valley, bring the good doctor along because he doesn't know dick about wine, but he's good for a laugh . . .


Gorilla Bananas said...

The menage a trois gag was fine. If she wasn't sure you were joking at the time she knows now. (I'm assuming you didn't actually proposition her later.)

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Gorilla: No, it was all in good fun. Probably too early with this new gal to pull the random "menage" on a Thursday. Maybe a Friday.

BeckEye said...

I would have been disappointed that the Heinz didn't taste like ketchup.

JerseySjov said...

One of my favorite activities is drinking cheap wine and pretending that it tastes good because i've never had expensive wine.

also this starbucks smells like farts [that i have nothing to do with]. unrelated to anything in this post but i have to tell someone and i doubt the starbucks staff will be too keen on that particular revelation.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Beck: A ketchup wine? That sounds awful, but then again, one or two of those were about as gross a concept as that.

Jov: The Starbucks shouldn't smell of farts. That's just wrong. I'd be out of there fast, unless I had no WiFi at the crib. Then I'd just pull my shirt over my nose and carry on . . .