Wine Tasting Smart Asses

Well, a while back I posted a project I did where a friend and I drank piss poor winter beers, and now I bring you a wine tasting with mostly similar results, this time with a girl I'm sort of seeing who we will call, Law School Dropout.

First off, from the "silky" category, we had a sip of Heinz Eifel Riesling Spatlese

From: Mosei, Germany

Price: $13.99

Their Description: Full-bodied, flavors of peach, cit

rus, and apricot. Good with sushi and spicy cu

isine.

Dr. Ken's Impression: "This would go good with a sour apple Jolly Rancher."

Law School Dropout's Impression: "Eh, not my style."

Next, from the "bold" category, we tried out Ello Grasso Nebbiolo

From: Langhe, Italy

Price: $25.99

Their Description: Stop sign red with medium intensity and a nose of Maraschino cherries, red licorice and mineral notes. Tart, good acidity, leading to a long, lingering finish.

Dr. Ken's Impression: "He said it has tastes of tar and leather. Is that good?"

Law School Dropout's Impression: "It's real smoove."

And then we had, also from the "bold" category, had a snort of Qupe Syrah

From: Central Coast, California

Their Description: Beautifully balanced, delivering a balance of fruit, spice and tannins (whatever that is).

Dr. Ken's Impression: "That one dries you right out."

Law School Dropout's Impression: "I want some mashed potatoes with that."

Lastly, from the "nectar" category, they poured us Heinz Eifel Eiswein.

From: Germany

Their Description: Rich and flavorful, only the nectar of the juices getting extracted and fermented into the wine.

Dr. Ken: Trying to sound smart, "Is it pears, or something?"

Law School Dropout: "I'm struggling with this."

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I warned the gal I brought that I would likely be silly in there, not over-the-top like Jim Carrey, more like an understated smart apple like Bill Murray. For instance, I asked if the Heinz one was from the same people who brought us the ketchup. Also, when another gal asked us if we were familiar with the menage a trois in wine, I said, "Not in the wine realm, no." That one was really awkward because it was the gal's first day, and I think she thought we were propositioning her.

So, if any of my Seven Readers are headed to Napa Valley, bring the good doctor along because he doesn't know dick about wine, but he's good for a laugh . . .