Friday, November 25, 2011

Sorry about that last awful post. I was still a little buzzed up and pissed when I wrote it in the middle of the night. I'm not sure why I put a link to a Kyuss song at the top of it because that really didn't have anything to do with anything.

I had one of those depressing hangovers from all that cheap white wine. So now I'm having a glass of red wine at midnight (a great hangover cure) and just watched a sad and sort of crappy movie called "Weakness" in which a high school teacher's mom dies, his girlfriend bangs the guy fixing his dead mom's roof*, he cares for his autistic little brother, then he starts nailing a former student, loses his job . . . Okay, so now you don't have to watch it. I only rented it because I like the actor, Bobby Cannavale.

It turns out I'm still angered by cheating. When this big Latin stud was laying pipe in this fictional guy's wife, I was just getting pissed as all hell. Next to anything bad ever happening to any of my nephews, which I'll give you a hint - that was the subject of the last post - cheating enrages me the most. Now this movie has me all scared that LSD is fooling around with some idiot from her high school reunion right now. I know she wouldn't do something like that, but nights like this can do weird things to an already weird guy's brain.

I don't know if I ever told any of you this, but I was married once. I'm also unsure if I ever told you that she and I had differing views on marriage: I thought it was a committed relationship when you go through the whole production of a wedding, and she thought she could screw a Chicago cop like 8 months into the thing. I now know that it was the best thing that ever happened to me, but at the time I was a wreck, losing weight, couldn't sleep - that whole bit. The last one breaking up with me also turned out to be a good thing. They were both the wrong type of chick for me. Heterosexual Life Partner (HLP) was talking to LSD and told her, "Wait, you're not a bitch." My good friend, Big Business, told me after the break up with this last one, "Dr. Ken, you need to get away from this brand of woman." Man, was he right, and I finally found the right brand. LSD is funny as hell, beautiful, kind, and loves the shit out of the good doctor. No more adversarial relationships. That shit gives me stomach aches. Shortens my lifespan.

Well, I don't really have a point to this post. It was just sort of a free writing exercise. Hope you are all well. Good night.
*The worst part about that is not only did he shag his wife, but he f'd him again by not doing a good job fixing the roof - it still leaked.


Gorilla Bananas said...

Wow, Dr Ken, I would never have guessed! The good thing is that you now know the kind of woman you want and have found her.

It's puzzling how human beings can vary so much in their charms and disposition. Even more puzzling that some men actually prefer being married to harridans.

sybil law said...

Man, relationships are rough, aren't they? I have a feeling LSD is in this with you for the long haul, so I don't think you need to worry about her. You definitely deserve someone awesome.
My friend was married and he walked in on his wife in bed with some dude. Pretty sure he's never gonna get married again. It ruined him for life!
Don't let bad eggs ruin you for life. You're damn good.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Gorilla: I had to look up "harridans," but yeah, I know lots of those. F that! Never again, Gorilla. Thanks for reading.

Sybil: Sorry to hear about your friend. That must be just about the worst thing to ever see. I think I'd go mental. Like O.J.

radioactive girl said...

I did know that about you being married before. Thank you for being such a good friend to me when I was a mess last year. Reading what you write about your current relationship gives me hope that all relationships don't suck and that not everyone cheats.

radioactive girl said...

Also, I hope everything is ok with the nephew.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Radio: Yes. So easy to lose sight of what relationships are all about because we tend to think they're SUPPOSED to suck when that's what we're used to. Thanks for being there for me too!