Sunday, November 29, 2009

Best Man No-no's

I'm going to be giving a Best Man speech at HLP's* wedding in a couple of weeks, and I've put together a list of things not to say in a speech.

- Don't spend too much time talking about how close you and the groom are. Just a couple quick words about how you know one another, not an "I love this guy, man" type of thing.

- If you have a story to tell about the groom, make it one - just one. Also, don't tell ones that are too embarrassing and mean. I went to one not too long ago where I was really pissed because the guy told around three stories all highlighting why the groom, who I think is a terrific guy, is absent minded.

- Don't ever, ever talk about the bachelor party. Even saying, "I'm not going to talk about the bachelor party is saying too much.

- Don't try to be too funny. This isn't your big break into comedy, it's just a time to say a few nice words about the bride and groom. And don't laugh at your own jokes.

- Keep it short. Anything over five minutes is too long.

- Don't forget to thank everyone who helped make the night possible.

- Only one toast, not two or three.

- I know it's nerve racking to talk in front of hundreds of people, and I know it's an open bar, but don't get too drunk. I'd say a three drink maximum before the speech is a good rule of thumb.

Any other good rules I should abide by that I've forgotten? Let me know before I unknowingly break one that you think I should stick to. Thanks!

*HLP = Heterosexual Life Partner


TOPolk said...

When popping the champagne cork, aim AWAY from the crowd.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

T-Polk: Good call! Take out an ice sculpture or something.

Bachelor Party said...

I have read about what should be told in your Best Man speech, first time i am reading like this, Donts in Best Man speech.. cool... and I like this one very much "I'm not going to talk about the bachelor party is saying too much...."

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Bach: Did you do a search for Bachelor Parties and came across this?

Miss Organizized said...

MAN! I broke all these rules when I gave my maid of honor speech. But I got a pass because I was cute and bubbly. Actually no, I got made fun of by Table 9. We're no longer speaking.

tnobes said...

Don't do the last wedding speach man, that was pretty brutal. This wedding just make sure to mention our fun times together, end o subject.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Organized: F Table 9. They can't take a joke.

Nobes: For sure, Nobes. It will be short and to the point. No Tiger Woods jokes.