Thursday, November 05, 2009

Top 5 Songs To Play as You Drive Into a Terrible, Terrible Neighborhood in the West Side of Chicago to Work Every Monday and Alternating Tuesdays*

5. "Let Me Ride" by Dr. Dre: Dre was rollin' in his 6-4, I'm rollin' in a piece of shit Camry, but either way, when I hear this one in the hood, I feel like I have 16 switches, sounds for the bitches, and hollow points for the snitches. I have no idea what I would do with all those switches . . .


4. "Real Muthaphuckkin G's" by Eazy E: I love that this record came out claiming that another guy (Dr. Dre) was fronting as a gangster and he was a real gangster. Only in the 90's . . .


3. "Now I Feel Ya" by Scarface: Scarface became a really smooth, intelligent rapper after some of his more manic, insane, hateful stuff he did with the Geto Boys, but that hateful stuff has merit too.


2. "The Message" by Grand Master Flash and the Furious Five Featuring DJ Melle Mel and Duke Bootee: I hear this one, and I just wonder who those people are "pissin' on the stairs." I mean, come on, maybe you don't have a pot to piss in, but do your business somewhere that isn't a safety hazard!


1. "In the Ghetto" by Elvis Presley: This one makes me laugh my ass off when I drive by the same dudes every morning with their burning trash can, mini grill, and tents. I want to play hookey one day, and join them with this playlist on repeat. Wonder what they cook? . . .

3 comments:

TOPolk said...

With the exception of your #1 choice, this entire list make my dick hard. Too vulgar? I'm sorry. But seriously, anyone who gives loves to Real Muthafukkin' G's is alright in my book.

Jenni said...

I'd play "Bust a Move" by Young MC...And then promptly get my ass kicked.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

TO: What does Elvis do to your peen?

Jenni: That would do it!