Thursday, November 12, 2009

I Looked Inside My Left Testicle Yesterday . . .

. . . and it was just as gross-looking as you might think. The experience was made even weirder by the goofiest x-ray-tech-guy of all time. So, I'm lying on the bed thing with my pants around my ankles, he's to the left of me, rubbing the x-ray thing on my bean bag, and his laptop thing with the monitor showing the inside of my junk is over my left shoulder. At one point, he is struggling to get the right grip on one nut with both hands, so he asks me to pinch my testicle so that he could hit the button on the keyboard to freeze a picture. Is that normal? Then, he asks me to hit the freeze button while he does what he has to do with my business, and it wasn't easy because I had to reach back and hit it with my pinky, with my bare finger, the one that was touching my balls moments ago. Is that sanitary?


I felt in good hands with the doctor, but this x-ray guy has me all nervous and stuff. All signs are pointing to the lump being harmless, but I won't know for sure for another week or two. I wish I didn't have to have such a hands-on x-ray experience because now I keep seeing that evil, evil lump in my mind, all white and cancery . . .

*That pic is not the inside of my testicle, but it's someone's, according to Google Images.

7 comments:

JerseySjov said...

i just went for a follow-up ultrasound from my er visit a few weeks ago. watching your own inside bits on a screen is i trip, isnt it!

im waiting on results to see if they think im okay on my own or if they think im going to need surgery to remove anything. scary stuff. best of luck to you and your junk.

BeckEye said...

Good luck with that. It's probably nothing.

I actually laughed when I read your post title. Not because I'm a jerk, but because at the very same time the song that came on my iPod was Blur's "Look Inside America," and now I'm singing "look inside my testicle...she's alright, she's alright..."

HeatherLynn said...

*crinkles nose*...so you left ball remnants on the x-ray guy's laptop huh? Well, he felt you up, the least you could do was give him testicle touched key strokes.

*shrugs*....

I'm still prayin for ya.

~hl~

Kadonkadonk said...

I was going to leave a witty comment until I noticed that my word verification is 'nicerack'. That trumps anything I could have come up with.

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Jov: Let me know when you know more, and I'll try to do the same. : )

Beck: Catchy . . . Let me know whenever you put something up on Starpulse, and I'll be sure to comment for you.

Lyn: Yes. Sack sweat all up on that keyboard. Gross.

Donk: Someone named "nicerack" comments on my Starpulse page.

Miss Organizized said...

Ugh. I officially would rather go through several "spread 'em" gyno exams than go through this ordeal and I don't even have testicles. Good luck to you dude :\

Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Miss: The gyno one sounds even more intrusive, but either way, I just want to have a feeling that the guy knows what he's doing.